knmac: Question: Did anyone else, fresh from a break-up with an N feel that they may have been the N also, or too? Did you go through a 'mind shifting' experience upon breaking-up? And if so, how long did it take before you felt able to deal with the 'mind shifting'?
First, welcome to the board. i'm glad you found us! Prepare to be launched on an exciting journey of finding information, finding peace and most importantly finding your SELF!
My name is Laura and I want to answer your questions from my personal experience.
I did feel like I became a narcissist toward X after our relationship ended. In fact, she even said to me, "who's the narcissist, Laura? who has been pursuing and trying to take revenge on ME?" By that time, after I realized what she had done to me, I was indeed out for "blood" figuratively. I wanted to expose her and make her pay and make her SEE what she was doing to control, manipulate and ruin people, including me. So, yes, I had to really look at what I had become, and I hated myself.
I did go through the mind-shifting experience too. Even up till recently, I kept catching myself belittling people with mental or emotional challenges. It's not that i despised them, but it was that I had come to see them as week and undeserving of my time or attention in any way, shape or form. Now, I still do not spend long periods of time listening to people who have no intention of making changes, but I do not treat them or view them with as much contempt as I used to for a while after X left.
How long did it take to overcome the mind-shift on my end? Well, X left in about 2004. It is 2007 now...so approximately 3 years for me, although occasionally I still see those habits of X creeping back in to my mind, since I was trained under her ministry for 2 years...old habits do die hard, plus, a lot of what she taught me, worked and was factual.
~Laura
