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NPD stalking

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azgirl:
I'm experiencing what I consider stalking.

I began dating a man, who I'm convinced suffers from NPD, last summer. We had a close connection however, this quickly ended when he was suddenly arrested and incarcerated for having sex with a minor. He plead guilty and was released recently, on probation. I thank God everyday that during the course of our "friendship", the N and I did not become physically intimate.

Upon his release, I made it clear to the N that I wanted no contact with him and that he was to stay away from me.  To take it a step further, I made it clear to him that I would file for an order of protection if he did not respect my boundaries which included no verbal contact and staying away from my residence.

While he seems to have given up on verbal contact, he frequently drives past my house, follows me in my car, and does just about anything he can to get my attention.  It's no accident -- it happens too often and reflects intention on his part.  While I've done everything that I can to avoid contact with him (we live in a very small community) to include changing my daily routine, he shows up in my neighborhood (sometimes daily) and makes his "presence" known outside my house.

While I don't feel physically threatened by him, I have to wonder why he wants my attention -- I give him none -- no eye contact, no response, no greetings, nothing.  My hope was he would get bored and would look for some other source of supply. This has been going on for almost 3 months now. Any ideas outside of involving law enforcement? Will he move on eventually on his own?

mighty mouse:
Dear AZgirl,

Sure sounds like a stalker to me. I had to deal with my NPD sister stalking me so I did some research. She wasn't local so I dealt with phone block, email and  snail mail. I have heard that stalking is a feature of some NPDs.

antistalking.com is a web site that might help you. Good luck to you. Don't let him see you sweat. These creeps get off on making you afraid or upset.

MM

flower:
azgirl
 This guys sounds creepy to me.
 ------------------------------------------------------

Thanks so much for your insight and support.
 It aided my healing. Too much of my heart
was in this post to let it remain here for posterity on the web.
The post served its purpose and now it is time to
edit it or gently take it down.
 
To every thing there is a season, and a time
to every purpose under the heaven:  Ecclesiates 3:1

------------------------------------------------------------
It may be bothering him because you drew a line in the sand and he can't stand it. Sounds like he isn't staying away from your residence if he is making his presence known outside your home, and he is testing if you carry through with your threat of legal action.  I wonder how many feet  he gets close to your house.  It sounds too risky to try something new to discourage him with your behavior IMO. You might consider doing a legal action at this point. It looks like it is getting really weird from what you write.

 I feel for you.

azgirl:
Thanks for the quick reply and link referral Mighty Mouse. Showing him a calm, cool and collected face, though inside I'm feeling quite unsettled about it.  -- azgirl

write:
I'd talk to a lawyer, get him to send a formal letter requesting he does not approach your home or follow your car etc ( be specific )  and/ or take out an injunction.

Paedophiles tend to be very immature, he may not even realise what he is doing is unacceptable ( story of his life?...) and he will probably have minimised his sexually deviant actions so does not understand why you no longer want to be around him.

He will have been shunned and rejected by most everybody else, so maybe is clinging to you? Many paedophiles live in a semi-fantasy world, they believe all kinds of things but ignore obvious realities; unbelievably while following you around this guy might think he is having a relationship with you and actually be satisfying some of his needs via his fantasy.

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