Setting the record straight about Ami

[Ami]

We ,all, as humans have the capacity for evil--I and everyone else. This was a subject that I could not face and that was part of WHY I was sick.In order to be healthy, you have to face ALL of yourself and ALL of other people.
 I ,always, asked the question,"Do we ALL have an N layer?" I was stuck on this point.
 Situations have  a funny way of giving me the answer. Yes, we ALL can be evil ,given the right circumstances. That is what I call the N layer(in my own mind)
  I saw Nazi Germany, Kitty Genovese and every other similar situation,today.People wanted blood ,for whatever their reasons BUT they were NOT Janet or me.They were probaby their own pain, unhealed emotions and simply the evil that plagues all of us.
  Life in all it's aspects has to be faced for s/one to be well. '"Fantasy bubbles "equal sickness.
  We are well to the degree that we  can see truth ---all of it.
  I saw evil within human nature today. It is a loss of innocence----but  a very late one and a needed one. Once again,I am grateful for every lesson,on the board. This one left me a little bloody  ,but a little more 'real' ,which was my original goal  . Thanks as always to Richard. We all appreciate him and that is one thing on which we CAN agree.           Ami

[mudpuppy]

Where's the d*%$ lock, Doc?!?

mud

[Bella_French]

CB, Thanks for posting; I feel some heart-ache too, seeing a normal & private conflict (between the only two forum members I really know well) dissected publically, when it really could have been resolved privately, maybe with a little more time than just one day or so.

I'm probably above average pro-transparency (when it comes to myself), but I feel very deeply that the transparency (about Ami) offered in this situation was misguided and inappropriate. It was a betrayal of trust, and it rocked my boat a bit because I admit that Janet would have formerly been one of the first people I confided in if I had a problem. It weirds me out a tad thinking it could me, having my private life `tattled' by someone I trusted. Not that i couldn't handle that, or that I *really* mind (I am not generally up to no good, lol) but I do appreciate Janet's perspective on things, she can communicate both truthfully and in a nurturing manner. Plus, she's just great. There are things I would like to have gone to her with, and her alone. But i really feel blocked now, like I couldn't do that.

So what i feel is bad for Ami, for turning to her for help (understanding why she would), bad for Janet, for feeling overwhelmed by the information, But i feel really, really especially bad, about the betrayal of a confidence.

I love both these girls, but I am disappointed in janet's decision to do this, i guess. I really think changing the boundaries in a friendship is one of the trickiest things to do, and it takes time and usually means dealing with some hurt feelings. It really could have been resolved in a different way, which is a pity.

Overall, i guess there is probably no major harm done, and the information that was exposed  probably will help Ami.  But its a shame to see that the cost is probably the friendship between Ami and Janet.And maybe the other cost is, for me anyway, the loss of a potential confident.

X bella

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi everybody,

I am locking this thread per my previous post.

Best,

Richard