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The concept of evil
shixie:
I just recently learned about NPD. It is very disturbing. I stumbled upon it on a website for work place bullies. This also is a new term that I have been reseaching since I had been a target for 4 years at my last job. The word I use to describe the bully duo is evil. What they did and the lengths they would go to harass me and others was unbelievable. As I look back in my life, evil is how I would describe all the N's in my life. Evil is also how M. Scott Peck describes them. It's been hard, I see N's all around me. It's also been a bit frightening at times. My sister is married to one, my mom is in a relationship with one. My father was one, my ex was one and so on. They say NPD only affects 1% of the population. I think its more than that. They become so vengeful when you expose them. It scares me because they are capable of anything. Am I being too paranoid? I currently have a law suit against my former employer for harassment and discrimination. I am worried about the vengence they could inflict on me. I feel it is the right thing to do. They hurt and harassed many of my former co-workers. I am the only one with a law suit against them. I feel I am doing justice for all of us. Standing up to evil is a scary and intimidating thing to do. Maybe the reason I am doing it, is because my whole life I was bullied by N's and couldn't do anything. But will it matter? I hope so. Thanks for letting me vent.
mighty mouse:
They say NPD only affects 1% of the population. I think its more than that.
I think it's much more than that. I've read sources who put it at about 5%. But since most of these nuts don't want anything to do with therapy, who knows?
My NMom despises anything to do with psychology....even my avocational reading/studying. She's always quick with a put down regarding the subject. I too have read M. Scott Peck's book - "People of the Lie". I agree
with his outing this as an evil.
MM
Anonymous:
Hi Shixie,
Brother, have I thought about the N percentage of the population, too! :shock: I don't know if N is on the uptake because of our culture (U.S.) or because being an N magnet, we see more of them, or because we are now better able to spot them. It is scary. Sometimes my fear of them is overwhelming and avoiding them isn't enough. But then I remember that if I am strong and if I find the authentic people, I'm much better off. I can run, but I can't hide, so I have to polish my shield and reflect the sun into their eyes, if I can (and if it's sunny...).
I define evil as anything or anyone who takes away or fails to recognize the humanity of people or a person or other living creatures for that matter. In other words, if a human being is seen as a "thing" or object. That perception alone takes the life energy of the other out of the picture. Nazis, terrorists, psycho criminals all fit the bill as well as some organizations, systems, etc. When you are treated like a number or cog in the wheel. I found Peck's book so validating!!
I don't expose Ns if I don't need to because you are right, they become vengeful. Why take that on if I can simply walk away and leave them to their madness?
The fact that you mention an "evil" duo caught my attention as well. There was also a similar situation at my old job. Two against one will always win because they back each other up. It's like two alpha dogs who can't decide who's going down, so they team up and fight everyone else. They get off on the power they both have together that they wouldn't have if they fought each other. And it's automatic verification of one half's convenient, self-serving version of the "truth".
As for fighting for "justice" don't do it just because it's the right thing. If doing the right thing is EXTREMELY important to you, and you can take the heat, then go for it. But think long term and how this is going to benefit YOU overall. Is it going to be expensive? Do you have an extremely strong case? etc etc. Just because you are morally correct doesn't mean you will win or you will fix the system...part of me is proud of you for having the guts to take it on whatever it is, but don't let your courage run away with your need for self-protection. Whether or not things are "fair" or "unfair", have your eyes open to all the consequences of the lawsuit and what will happen once the lawyers and judges move on to other cases...something to consider is how much power they have beyond their own little fiefdom. Who else benefits from your employer acting this way or from looking the other way? Are other employers going to look askance at you if they find out you brought a lawsuit against one of their own? I think your paranoia is serving you well if you are considering all the consequences.
Good luck to you, Seeker
shixie:
MM and Seeker, thanks for your reply. MM even 5% seems low to me. If I look back in my life all the people who cause me pain are N's. Maybe their familiarities was why I continued seek them out. Only to be subjected to their abuse. We all know how charming they can be. Hopefully now I will recognize it sooner.
As for my law suit, I have a good number of witnesses. The bully's have gotten rid of almost all of my former co-workers. My discrimination case is strong and it is the only way for the owners to realize the liabilities they have working for them. This was at one time THE best skilled nursing facility in my area. The bullies ran out a fabulous administrator with their schemes. The patient care has been compromised greatly. I think they should be banned from health care. I have tremendous support from all of my former co-workers. The lawyer gets 40% of the settlement, he must think its worth it or he wouldn't have taken the case. Of couse this could drag on for years. Hopefully, I'll be better prepared.
Anonymous:
Dear Shixie,
You've nailed it on the head:
--- Quote ---only way for the owners to realize the liabilities they have working for them
--- End quote ---
This is key. People will sit up and take notice if something's about to cost them major bucks. Best wishes to you!! Seeker
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