Thanks for the links, Tayana

[cats paw]

Tayana,

  I added one to my favorites, to read at a later time.  I skimmed the one about attribution theory.

  In the future, I have some upcoming changes, also.  When I have posted in distress, I have received responses.  I have been fried lately, and read more than post.

  This will probably be my mother's last Christmas, ( our relationship has been difficult )  so I can relate to impending losses and staying on the board. 

  I'm glad you're staying, so just know that I do read you, even if I don't post to you much.

cats paw

[tayana]

Cats Paw,

Thanks so much, glad you appreciated the links.  I'm going to parents' for Christmas.  My brother and sister in law will be there, and I'm spending the morning at home, so I hope it won't be too terrible.  The only reason I'm not in a panic about it is because I know I have the power to leave at any time and return to No Contact.  It's sort of a trial run.  She told my brother she doesn't think I'll come for Christmas.  I was actually hoping my brother would come here.  I've even been getting my place fixed up for company, but that's not happening, so I'll do something else.

The fact that this even is now a little more than a week off however is starting to hit home, and I'm starting to feel the anxiety.  I took the day after Christmas off, figuring I'd need a day to recover.

T

[Hopalong]

I'm sorry, Cats.
I hope your mother finds peace in death she was never able to find, or give, in life.
Do you have support around you in 3-D life as you face this transition?
Hope so.
Hope you'll find it here too.

Hey Tay,
I'm not afraid for you, with some turkey under the same roof.
That is a big thing to see...I used to feel so afraid for you about her.
I'm not at all now.
It may be uncomfortable or you might get twinges, but you are
a different person.
You're in charge.
I'm so awed

love to both of you,
Hops

[tayana]

Cats,

I'm sorry.  I hope your mother finds peace.  I hope you find peace as well.

Hops, I'm not too worried, really.  I'm not terribly anxious, just a little.  Certainly enough that I don't need to forget my medicine.    Yes, I am in charge, and when I go, I'm getting my winter coat, my hats, my gloves, my scarves, so that I can be warm. 

T

[cats paw]

Tay,

  Thanks, and I think we'll both do just fine on Christmas.

Hops,

  Yes, I do have 3D support, and other cyber support in addition to this board.  My mother seems to be mellowing just a bit.
   I remember when you wrote about some mellowing in your own mother.

  So, within reason, I am hoping for certain measures of peace for both of us before she dies.  No matter who the person is, it is   
  really hard to see suffering and unhappiness.  I have never abandoned her, even if she doesn't quite get that.  Yet, maybe that's
  why she's mellowing a bit, because deep down, she probably knows I haven't.

   OK - enough of this for now !   

Thanks,

cats paw