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N's delusions make you underrate yourself?

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Anonymous:
yuki,

Only psychiatric testing could tell what's wrong with your mom. But something is wrong with her.

bunny

Jenocidal:
Yuki:

Your mom sounds a lot like my mother (the warden).  My Narcissistic mother raised us kids on welfare, AND SHE IS STILL ON WELFARE(i'm 27 yrs old now, she's 44 yrs old) because all her life she couldn't fathom subordinating to anyone.  So instead, us kids suffered in exteme poverty. My mom thinks she was destined to be rich and famous.  She's not content unless she is using her "mania" as her narcissistic supply.  She has four books on the go, all of which have not, and will not, be completed.  She is trying to make it rich selling calendars of local girls, that never amounted to anything. She's trying to write a movie, she is trying to be a famous talk radio host (by uploading recordings of herself onto her website of her interviewing people with HIGH credentials involving PESUDO science (narcissitic supply))  She listens to Art Bell with fervor and believes a lot of the material therein... This is all Narcissism aside, by the way. She thinks everyone is coming to get her, has a very paranoid personality.  I grew up with her drilling into my mind that satanic cultists and serial killers were after us.  it was a ruff ride with my Narcissist.

I think my mother has more than one personality disorder as well.  Antisocial Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, either generally histrionic ,or perhaps borderline personality disorder with idiopathic mania... for starts.

Jenocidal:
Another thing I'd like to add...

Growing up with my mother for the first 12 years of my life, my mother wanted to be a rockstar.  It seems that throughout my whole life I was aware that my mother was deranged.  So I wouldn't take her "music" seriously, even at the age of 8 or 9 yrs old, I have clear memories of fantasizing that my mother didn't want to be a rockstar.  That she just wanted to be a mother.  -it's weird to think about now.  I've spent my whole life watching her mania.

lotus:
my Nmum is similar too.

she allways has this vision of the perfect family. when she was in her late 27 she had had a car accident (minor) which also meant that she received a lump sum payment from the Govt (compensation).. would u believe it, she spent all of it in a week... i cant remember how much it was, but think of it, we live in welfare housing... so she threw out every single peice of furniture we allready had and replaced it with new ones... she also gave much of this 'new' stuff to this community group... and spent most of her time looking after the place (day and night) .. i was 10 then... in hindsight, i suppose it was good - the lesser interaction the better, but that only lasted for about a month.

fact is, she couldnt give a shit about us.. and yet expected us to be 'perfect' children, or whatever her vision of 'perfect' was...

how many times was i left out in the open at night... while she simply 'forgot'. like the first day of highschool.. she forgot to pick me up so i waited in front of the school till 8 at night ( school finished at 3 ) eventually she asked a distant family friend to pick me up... and when i got home it was like nothing happened...
and this is only like one small incident....
she's also very paranoid about people not liking her... she'd allways put the blame of her faults on her kids..
N's are dangerous creatures...

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