I Didn't Know December was April Fool's Time! HAH!

[reallyME]

Ah well, the board was kind of getting quiet, so it should be interesting what our clones are up to.  By the way, if anyone here is wondering if it's ME posting or the imposter, simply pm reallyME, spelled just that way.  As I admitted the other day, I have only ever used one fake name on here,  one time...it was star 1.  Other than that, you've been stuck with the real LAURA, reallyME the rest of the time, believe it or not.

~Laura

[reallyME]

Oh one more thing...as you see the possible antics of these cloners on the board, please do everyone and yourself a favor, and decide to not let anything they post to or about you, trigger or affect you.

There are so many things from my past that I've shared with certain people, that it's highly likely that they would come here and maybe post them about me.  Guess what, all of those things...the promiscuity, drinking, abuse...it's all REAL and TRUE.  Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, now clones, what ELSE you got on me?

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf, tra la la la la pllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

~really REALLYME

[finding peace]

Hi Laura,

No worries, Dr. G rousted the little elves.  The accounts disappeared. 

Peace

[Ami]

Wow Laura,
  When you are "real"------ that is a freedom---a freedom from shame. God has really healed you,Laura. I am  "seeing" a tremendous healing in you. I really am.
 If you could describe--speciifically--how your internal process of healing developed ,I would love to hear it---the internal insights and changes.
 Laura, your healing seems to have made a radical change in your "sense of yourself", as you percieve it. Talk on if you care to-----I am all ears.
          Love   Ami

[reallyME]

LOL Bean...that was funny and fun!

Ami, my internal insights or whatever you just asked me about...well, let's see.

Honestly, I don't know that it was anything I could pinpoint as far as my healing goes.  I did have people pray for me, but honestly, a lot of it just came from being fed up with being controlled.  I am not even a daily coffee drinker, because I don't like the idea of having to depend on a substance in order to wake up in the morning.

I just plain hate being controlled, period, so I learned to detect the N's of life and to steer clear as much as possible and assert who I am.

 I was thinking this morning about my preferences in life.  I tend to be someone who likes to lose myself in other peoples' worlds, vicariously, through book reading or tv watching or computing.  I really prefer to not deal in the real world all that often with new people.  Now, I'm thinking "Laura, you just told everyone what a PEOPLE PERSON you are, didn't you?"  Well, I am, but I've been discovering that I'm only a "people person" with certain people who know my rough edges and tolerate me anyway.  I don't choose to hang often with people who can't take what I say in stride...it makes things rough for sure.  I guess maybe I'm just a loner, masking as a socialite?

I like being in my skin but not necessarily in my current situation of "family" at times, if that makes sense.

~Laura

[Ami]

If I am picking your brain too much--just tell me--but can you descibe how more about 'liking being in your skin"----how does it feel to you? Thanks, Laura                                Ami

[Overcomer]

Hey Ami:  I don't know if this is Laura's experience but here is mine........I really do not like being in my skin per se........however, I do like gaining control over my life.  I was driven for so long and succumbed to the thought control and manipulation by my mom and consequently by everyone (salesmen........for one......)  When I gained control over my life and started to say NO to people, it was very freeing.  I saw Laura going through a whole lotta angst earlier on....almost obsessing about the awful treatment she got.  Boy, she is over that now!!  She seems so strong......(YOU seemd so strong, Laura.....)  She never even mentions that period in her life.  Now THAT is growth.  It is wonderful to watch people get over one thing.  Of course, we always seem to have some kind of other thing happen.  It is good to get over one and move on.........

[reallyME]

Overcomer, actually, to avoid my getting too much credit where it IS NOT due, I DO still talk about the people of my past, their borderline/narcissistic behaviors and how it bothered me.  You might just not have read those posts or maybe I've been putting it a lot less caustic-like or something.  I don't know.

I can tell you that it still hurts me to think that Jodi wasn't who I thought she was.  It hurts that Dove, instead of facing the truth that I reported her family member for severe, bloody abuse of her daughter because it was the RIGHT thing to do, she dumped me instead.  That is the truth.

What you might be seeing as "strength" in me, is that I don't let the disillusionment stop me from living my life.  That's all.  It's no great endeavor on my end...it's just a decision to not give a rip about those people any more than they do about me.  I pray for them sometimes, but I don't let my mind dwell on ANY of the time I spent with them very often...good or bad.  It's just healthier to live life that way, letting bygones be pretty much GONE.

~Laura

[Overcomer]

See?  You have grown!!