Narcissist Info (cont) The Narcissist as Slanderer

[reallyME]

The Narcissist Style

They want to have all the best!

They switch masks based on who they are with, if the person is a threat or is intimidated by the narcissist, at home or work or church, the switch is instantaneous.

GETTING IT ALL

Trying to communicate with a narcissist is ONE-SIDED and IMPOSSIBLE.  They are only observing how to get you to react so that they are NEVER TRULY RESPONDING NOR RELATING PERSONALLY THEMSELVES.  It's very UNREWARDING on your end.

The Narcissist will act bored when you try to get them to listen to you.


NARCISSIST AS SLANDERER

They see SIN or WRONGDOING more as a "taint" than a moral illness.  Rather than REPENT or MAKE THINGS RIGHT, they PROJECT!

They accuse the most innocent people of the most hideous crimes.  They tend to target the "quiet" person to blame for being the noisiest.  They are very choosy about what they say to whom.

They will accuse you of being crazy when it's them who are the crazy one.

They do not care about what you think about them or anything else.  They only care how they see you behaving.

If you begin to outshine the narcissist, unless they FEAR YOU, you are a threat to them.  They fear you diminishing their perceived glow and glory.

[lighter]

<Clapping>

Yup yup yup, ReallyME.

[Leah]

The Narcissist Style

They want to have all the best!

They switch masks based on who they are with, if the person is a threat or is intimidated by the narcissist, at home or work or church, the switch is instantaneous.[/color]

GETTING IT ALL

Trying to communicate with a narcissist is ONE-SIDED and IMPOSSIBLE.  They are only observing how to get you to react so that they are NEVER TRULY RESPONDING NOR RELATING PERSONALLY THEMSELVES.  It's very UNREWARDING on your end.

The Narcissist will act bored when you try to get them to listen to you.


NARCISSIST AS SLANDERER

They see SIN or WRONGDOING more as a "taint" than a moral illness.  Rather than REPENT or MAKE THINGS RIGHT, they PROJECT!

They accuse the most innocent people of the most hideous crimes.  They tend to target the "quiet" person to blame for being the noisiest.  They are very choosy about what they say to whom.

They will accuse you of being crazy when it's them who are the crazy one.

They do not care about what you think about them or anything else.  They only care how they see you behaving.

If you begin to outshine the narcissist, unless they FEAR YOU, you are a threat to them.  They fear you diminishing their perceived glow and glory.

Dear Laura,

Only just come across this, your thread from June (I was away from the board May to Oct) as someone else was viewing it.

Amazing truth.  Just wish that I had found it much sooner, a few weeks ago.

Love, Leah

[seasons]

Ditto!

Thanks RM.........seasons

[Certain Hope]

They see SIN or WRONGDOING more as a "taint" than a moral illness. 
Rather than REPENT or MAKE THINGS RIGHT, they PROJECT!

Per Webster - Taint:

–noun 1. a trace of something bad, offensive, or harmful. 
2. a trace of infection, contamination, or the like. 
3. a trace of dishonor or discredit. 
4. Obsolete. color; tint. 
–verb (used with object) 5. to modify by or as if by a trace of something offensive or deleterious. 
6. to infect, contaminate, corrupt, or spoil. 
7. to sully or tarnish (a person's name, reputation, etc.). 
8. Obsolete. to color or tint. 

That's it!
N never views herself as responsible for anything. When life goes amiss, it is always, invariably because someone else's offense/ stain rubbed off onto her. All culpability is placed upon whomever she's chosen to blame/project upon at the moment, for sullying her pristine purity... yuck, yuck, ugh!

Thank you Leah... and Laura... for this thread.

Carolyn

[Leah]

Dear Carolyn,

YES! That truly is it!

This morning, I wrote "Shame Dumping"  and then created a thread topic in posting it onto the board..

Afterward, I spotted someone reading this thread, created in June   (I was away from the board May to Oct ... so I had not seen it)

I was AMAZED ........ affirmed, validated and liberated. 

Would add >> Lupita's wise post this morning on Laura's "reaction ... behaviour" thread ..... was also affirming and validating.   

Everything has simply drawn together like a big curtain       (with the problem person(s) in my life, shut out on the other side!)

"God is Good" and His timing is so perfect, as is Romans 8:28.

So glad that He is in charge 

Love to you,

Leah, a 'joyful' grateful person.


PS >>>   I have had a truly wonderful afternoon spent with some lovely people, much laughter, and more mince pies!

[alone48]

Such a perfect description and helps you to understand  the craziness of the N. If you can look at it from this perspective it all makes sense. The craziness happens when you try to put it in the perspective of regular (didn't say normal) emotions.

[Certain Hope]

(((((((Leah))))))  I am so glad to know that you had a wonderful afternoon yesterday... and I hope that today was also a joyful time. Absolutely I understand what you mean about the validation and confirmation we receive with open ears and eyes. So many times it has been so for me... and always, a blessing, just like you - thank you for being you.

It was Christmas Picnic day today ... new outlooks call for new traditions, I think. Barbeque beef ribs and potato salad by candlelight, with a fire in its place and the snow flurrying outside. No mince.  But lots of love and hope.

Hugs,

Carolyn

[Leah]

"Thank You" (((((((Carolyn)))))) 

Oh, your Christmas Picnic * sounds * wonderful!  I have never heard of anything like that and I absolutely love the thought of it, truly I do.

With "barbeque beef ribs and potato salad by candlelight, with a fire in its place and the snow flurrying outside" ...... makes me wish I was there!

Truly, I can sense the abundance of love and hope among all present.  So glad to know that you had such a precious time of joyful fellowship which is what real life is truly all about.

Much love, with hugs back to you,

Leah