What are you doing Christmas eve and day?

[Overcomer]

Absolutely.  Verbal cues do not work on this child.  She processes visually and my moms unhappy face equals mean to her.

[SallyingForth]

I am relaxing and doing absolutely nothing. I thought I would be bored to tears not being able to do anything but walk around my house, wrap presents, listen to music, etc. but I am not. (On restrictions for exertion.)

I am enjoying the solitude, the tree with just lights on it, the glowing icicle lights in my windows, the warmth of our pellet stove, the smell of the tree, the smell of the apple-cinnamon Glade air freshener, waiting for the possibility of snow in the afternoon, listening to Christmas music, watching midnight mass, looking outside at the tall fir trees, tops swaying in the wind, and resting.

We're having a non-traditional Christmas dinner. Thank goodness!  Less stress and less time to fix. My husband and I are making pot roast with potatoes, onions, and carrots. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

[reallyME]

What are you doing Christmas eve and day?
« on: December 24, 2007, 11:32:57 AM »   

What are you doing Christmas eve and day?
« on: December 24, 2007, 11:32:57 AM »   

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Dear friends, would you mind to share what are you doing fro Christmas?

Hey and Happy Holidays to all, be it Yule, Christmas, Hannukah, etc.  We all deserve to celebrate life and loved ones and growth in our lives!

I was going to just start telling all about my Christmas celebrating, but I noticed that some people here are kind of struggling this holiday and I wanted to be very tender in my comments to them, respecting their individual hearts.  Blessya all.  My comments follow:


LUPITA:

I am going to my son's GFM. I have itching about that but I do not have an option. I want to be with my son. He wants to be there and I had that commitment since long time ago. Before I really explored that lady's friendship, wich each day I like less.

How about you? Do you have to be with people you would prefer you did not have to be with? Are you staying alone? By choice? etc?

Good for you, Lupita, spending Christmas with someone you don't "click" with, all in honor of your son.  I think that is wonderful and a dear way to sacrifice yourself.  The gift of your "time" will mean a lot to him, especially since he knows how hard it is for you to do this.

finding peace: Tomorrow we will go to my in-laws who I love dearly.  His father is one of the nicest men I have ever known, and has really taught me what a father is supposed to be.

It is so wonderful that you have such a dear man in your life, as a father-figure.  I'm glad you see the preciousness of spending time with him.  We just need to treasure the time we have with each other so much.

Izzy: I'm staying alone by choice.

Sometimes our quiet, reflective, or just relaxing times by ourselves can mean so much to us, can't they.


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HOPALONG:

For me, Christmas is a chore. Because my D does not come home, and hasn't for several years, I've gradually (after several years of suffering about it) learned to really detach. I do not have expectations of extra happiness from December 25th, so there is no way I can be disappointed now.

I'm sorry Christmas is very trying on you, but I'm glad that you have a nice buffet you enjoy.  Isn't there just something about eating really good food that is one of life's biggest blessings!  Since I've been diagnosed with Hashimotos syndrome and have a hard time losing weight, I think on holidays, I'm finally able to eat without feeling guilt or hearing my deceased grandfather's nasty comments about my weight.  Food is WONDERFUL!  I'm so glad you get some really good eats, Hoppy, along with beauty and music and a little bit of mysticalness.

And now, for what I'm doing C'mas eve and what I did C'mas day, today:

Last night I went to a candlelight service that was really good.  Pastor talked about The Grinch, whose heart was 3 sizes too small, complete with overhead scenes from the cartoon movie, and a mini-drama with a guy who was fussing about how rotten Christmas was every year.

Normally, hubby sits in the back and hates the front of church, but when I told his mom he wouldn't come sit with her at the front, she went and got him to come sit up in the front with her and her husband.  My husband took two coats on the seats next to him, tossed them over a few seats, and sat down, feeling VERY uncomfortable about being in the front.  Finally, the owners of the coats came to claim them, so hubby and 2 daughters got to move to the back where they wanted to be, and youngest daughter sat in front with Gram, Gramps and me.  I thought it was funny that my N husband just assumed those coats were Gramp's coats, but they weren't. LOL  Then, of course, we all lit candles all over the church and it was so neat.

After that, we went home and watched High School Musical 2 and were gonna play the game with it, but all were too tired.  Hubby stayed up cleaning house and the girls and I went to bed. 

This morning, at 6:30 AM, we all woke up, dragged poor hubby out of bed (he didn't get to sleep till probably 3 AM), and ate waffles and quiche, opened gifts after my eldest daughter and fiancee got there, and finally watched parade, while poor husband fell back to sleep in his chair.

It is currently almost 1 PM.  I have just peeled potatoes, put away my presents, and put dogs out to potty.  My mother in law and father in law will be here soon for dinner of turkey, ham, yams, and good stuff, and to exchange gifts. 

In a few days, the lady I mentor, will be coming to visit for a while.  We will be exchanging gifts as well.

Holidays this year are very nice for me, but in the past, when I lived back in NY where I grew up, my holidays consisted of making sure I kept elbows off table, my husband was dressed right, I paid attention to all the children and what they were doing and that they weren't wrecking Gram's house, being mocked by grandfather for being fat, and basically, going from grandma's to grandma's to foster grandma's to other grandma's, always not being able to wait till I finally hit the last stop and could have a good time, cause that grandma was not paranoid like bio mom and other grandmother was.

I do miss my grandparents (now deceased), but I don't miss the stress I'd feel in the pit of my stomach, that I couldn't ever be thin enough or careful enough.  Now, that is all over and gone, and there is just the pleasantries and squeals of delight every year...oh, yeah, those squeals are coming from ME! hehe

Blessya'll my friends and Happy Holidays!

~Laura

[sea storm]

I wish I could be with you guys at Christmas.  For you genuine, honest and heartfelt selves. No presents neciessary. No hoopla and decorations and materialism. I would just like to be with you.

It is so healing to hear your stories and hear how you are doing.

I have been away from the boaird for awhile but never really away.

I am going to visit my sister and my N aunt. So I am putting on my hand forged armour made from a silver teaset and donning my invisible shield of psychic power to get me through it.  Yesterday I spent Christmas with new friends who treated me with affection and valued me.  I like that better.

Keep safe and warm

Sea storm

[Gaining Strength]

Wow Sea Storm.  I want to hear how your shield and psychic powers worked.  I like that thought and want to use it.

It is now X-mas afternoon.  This is the hard part for me.  For 10 years I have been invited to my husbands extended family X-mas but not this year.  It could be a mail mix up - I didn't get mail for 2 days in mid-Dec. but I don't know.

I hate this afternoon - it is such a let down.  I am working hard to adjust my thoughts - to shut out all the old ones of pain and sorrow and loneliness and to look for and focus on the good ones.  This has been my mission for some time now.  I have made great progess but find it more of a battle at this time of year. 

This is actually the 2nd year in a row that I have made it through x-mas without antidepressants.  Last year I made it through the end of Feb and then took a nose dive.  This year my goal is to get exercising and get those endorfins moving to counter that depression and anxiety.  So glad for this place, so glad to be with others who struggle through similar battles, so thankful for the empathy and true understanding.

[Hopalong]

The buffet was lovely, Mom enjoyed herself, I chatted with the nice people and had some lovely wine.
We drove home looking at lights, and Mom thanked me several times. She announced (with amazement): "And you fit right in!"

I just put on my mellow shield, relaxed and enjoyed. The singing was great. I'm happy it's done. I have had a great rest.

Work all day tomorrow and the next day meet my D at 7:30 am in a town 2 hours from here for a farewell breakfast. She was crushed when she say goodbye to her employer of 3 years, since she just got a rushed handshake. She gets very attached to people she works with, makes them family, and is always hurt when they aren't as attached as she is.

No idea what she's doing today, since she boycotts Christmas, but I left her a nice voicemail.

Life goes on. Biggest challenge for 2008 will be budgeting, exercising, getting strong and disciplined. One day at a time!

joyful carols to all.
love
Hops

[sea storm]

Well the dinner with auntie was the usual poisonous fare.  Blech. I was calm and polite and detached. It was invalualbe to be with her because I could see how unaware she was of the other people there. She just monopolized the conversation and had such withering looks for anyone who attempted to restore balance.  I stayed for a short time and realized that she did not have a genuine good feeling for me and instead there were so many hostile or mixed messages.

A freind came with me. He was kind and freindly and kept things running smoothly. After we left he said, " Well , you don't have to do that again". For some reason I am the family scapegoat and  I am always wrong. IT is quite irrational and bizarre. This time I could see the patterns.

I am home alone now and feel safe, warm and content. There are worse things than solitude.

By the way. My armour is made from a silver tea set because I don't want war like armour but prefer something a lttle more genteel and imaginative.  This is silly. Imagine if those bad guys who hand out in satanic cults wore bright pink too toos.  It might help them lighten up.

Sea storm

[Hopalong]

Nice work, Sea.
Nice armor (very tasteful)
Nice realizations
Nice friend!

xxoo
Hops

[changing]

Dearest Hoppy-

Have a lovely time with your daughter. Let her know how proud you are of her and how happy you are that she is such a capable person. And just enjoy!!!!

Love From Your Friend,

Changing

[finding peace]

Hi Lupita,

Well, my well-laid plans for a Norman Rockwell Christmas ended up more like a Normal Rockwrong Christmas (ha!).

My Christmas Eve day and night was replete with ----  Mmmoooommm she said this, no I didn’t, yes you did, no I didn’t, yes you did.

Mmmmooooommmm she stepped on my toe, no I didn’t, yes you did.  You did it on purpose!  No I didn’t, yes you did, no I didn’t…….

My dinner turned out wonderful – planned to eat in the formal dining room with China.  Kids got hungry so I cooked the mini hotdogs in puff pastry early – and they grazed all night.  Don’t know if you have ever cooked with puff pastry – but that stuff crumbs – had crumbs all over the house.

My H and I sat on the couch and ate drunken brussel sprouts, lobster, filet, and potatoes au gratin.  The potatoes au gratin came out perfectly – a mixture of parboiled sliced potatoes, cream, milk, butter, lots of cheddar and parmesan cheese, red and green peppers for a Christmas touch, and cayenne pepper.  Love this dish – not for the fat faint of heart though. 

Did I mention that I think that I am becoming lactose intolerant?

Well that fine meal was delicious and I don’t have to worry about gaining any weight from it!

So much for watching movies together and keeping the kids calm – they sat on the couch side-by-side with my and my H’s laptops – playing on the internet.  Screaming at the top of their lungs – look at mine, mine is better, ha! ha! I get to use Mom’s laptop………(headache anyone?)

My H and I got late breaking news that his 96 year old GM was stopping by the next day to see the antique dinning room furniture that she had given us.  So instead of a relaxing evening with the kids – we frantically cleaned the entire downstairs, in between my running to the bathroom, frequently. 

By the time we got the kids in bed – we were exhausted.  A few last minute presents to wrap – then collapsed in bed.  Kids up at 6:00 – tore through the presents, and then had noses buried in electronic gadgets all afternoon.  My H and I, still exhausted, finished cleaning up for his GM to come visit.

Went to his parent's house for Christmas and had a lovely time, amidst jaw-breaking yawns!  Came home, collapsed on the couch and passed out.

So I figure I had a perfect, Normal Rockreal Christmas and wouldn’t have changed a minute of it.

Much love to all of you,
Peace

PS - Lupita, I have been trying to catch up on the threads.  I think you made a very wise decision regarding New Year's Eve.  Not easy.  But right now, I have a feeling you are fighting some pretty strong endorphins in your son's brain.   Best, at least IMO, to walk cautiously while his brain may be clouded at the moment.  Good news is, those endorphins settle down over time.

[Lupita]

FP had not seen you in several days. Missed you. Did you count the calories? Just kidding.

[reallyME]

hey peace!

Sounds like the key to sanity in your household is similar to what ours often is...electronics!

(we bought cable- mediacom for puter, tv and eventually, phone)

~Laura