I'm all for SATURATION THERAPY and REGRESSION THERAPY how bout you?

[reallyME]

I guess the reason I tend to be so "in yer face" is because I've been through the N thing, come out of it and want to see others break free...I'm all for, when a person has a phobia, making them FACE it head-on, depending what it is.  Dr Phil does this too, and I approve.

I'm also in favor of letting a person re-live their past as that voiceless child, but then having them learn to take the ACTIVE stance, telling that abuser "YOU CAN NOT DO THIS TO ME ANYMORE!  I DID NOT DESERVE TO BE MOLESTED. YOU ARE AN EVIL PERSON AND YOU CANNOT KEEP ME QUIET EVER AGAIN" and other things of the sort.

I have used a similar technique with myself and another I've counseled.  It was involving taking a chair, imaginging the abuser in it and screaming at and addressing that "person"  It has proven to really help people, unless their issues require something more extensive like deliverance and/or hypnotherapy, etc.

~Laura

[changing]

Reallyme-

You have made numerous requests for input as to the content of your posts , etc. , so I will try to do what I can. The issue of posting as a "pastor" and "counselor " seems to  be of most pressing interest to me. Are you a member of the Pastoral Counseling Association (it requires a certain level of vetting of competency, etc)? I commend your goal of helping others and yourself, as well as your going to school to get a degree. Do you have any certifications, licenses or recognized clinical experience? If not, I am not certain that your "counseling"  at this point is any more than what friends do when they talk over their troubles together. Support such as this from friends is extremely important and helpful, but does not rise to the level of a formal "counseling session". I am sure that you mean no harm, but when people who are not qualified make claims of "counseling" and represent thenselves as a 'pastor", it can be harmful and even dishonest, without realistic qualifications  and competencies.
Though I am sure that you do not mean to do this, if you are not qualified by virtue of education and recognized clinical experience it may still be something to think about. A self-proclaimed prophet, holy person, all-knowing person like David Koresh can ruin both their own life and the lives of others to the extent that their delusions are relied upon as truth. I am sure that you would not want to do anything like this yourself, at whatever level, ever. You might think about getting the education and experience required for the certification in order to do the best for yourself and those you seek to help if you do not already possess objective qualifications, unless you are speaking with  people solely on a friend to friend basis. It seems according to your posts like you may be in the process of getting your education, now. In the meantime if this is so, you can be a supportive friend to those in need, and when you are getting  your own thorough counseling, clinical training and required experience for a degree and license, you an begin formal counseling work. That is invaluable.
You have indicated that you are of the Christian faith. Requirements for being a Christian pastor are spelled out for Christians in the Bible. They include at the very least, having one's household and one's self under subjection. If one has not been able to rightly do this, it makes sense that wherever one's religion or interest lies, the family that one is entrusted with is where one's energy and resources should go, first and foremost.  The Pastoral Counseling Association also has other requirements above the Biblical ones, as a way of making people who enter into said counseling safe. In most denominations pastors are ordained, attend bible college and receive a degree in theology as well.
One can sympathize and support and inform others , but this is different from formal counseling and being a pastor. We are here on this board to support each other and seek support in dealing with voicelessness and and issues of emotional survival that are destructive in our lives, and all are welcome and respected here, whatever their belief systems. From my limited understanding of you, as gleaned from what has been on the board, your family is in crisis, you have mentioned infidelity and extreme sexual acting out  behaviors  and estrangement in your husband and your older daughters, for example, as well as acts of violence perpetrated by you upon your daughter. These are very serious matters, and I assume that you are here to help you deal with these critical issues, as I am with mine, and I am happy that you are here. We all benefit from your being here.
In terms of your request for input regarding your stance and posts, as far as your making claims of being a pastor and counselor in your posts , and giving out what you believe  are definitive interpretations of the Bible, characterizing yourself as "never lying", and as having vanquished all vestiges of crisis and abuse in your life and now looking from the other side upon those who are more damaged, as well as what may be seen as possibly using posts to judge others who may not have the same religious beliefs or lifestyles (watching TV channels that may have "filthy" shows and declaring your own purity,etc) seem somewhat counterproductive at best, and these may just have been mistakes or imperfections, such as we all commit and have ourselves. I may have misinterpreted your posts as well, and you may  not be holding yourself out as a pastor or counselor, or as having defeated the seemingly intractable issues you face, or judging others, etc., which is a good thing.
However, when I post on this board and do not request assistance in my religious, lifestyle or personal choices,I do not want to have to defend my difference from anyone here in terms of a choice of religions, TV shows or who I choose to sleep with or not according to anyone's belief system or thoughts, or about their own level of perfection or magical powers, etc. There are other Boards that deal with specific religions, cults, beliefs, sexual orientations, prophets, magic, etc- this Board is not affiliated with any one viewpoint, and all views on those subjects, whether or not you or I may agree with them, should be respected without judgement, and the infliction of unsolicited judgements in these areas upon others here is a violation of that level of respect.
I am here for support and to give support to a diverse community of individuals that is united and values everyone, apart from any cultural, religious or political considerations, as this is an impartial human issue ( as I know that you are as well, ultimately) without being subjected to religious dogma or the judgement of others. I admire your courage in dealing with the issues in your family and appreciate the wonderful motivation to help others as well, and wish you well as you gain the tools to do what you envision as well as in healing your family and yourself, as a committed pastor and counselor. This is what we are all ultimately here on this Board for, to get help and to help others in gaining healing freedom, expression, fulfillment as autonomous individuals, and you seem to be on your way to making a wonderful difference in your life and lives of others.

Love,

Changing

[reallyME]

I am an ordained minister, but that is neither here nor there, as I do not adhere to the belief that a person needs to be ordained nor a member of any pastoral organization to minister to people or do the work of God.

As far as my home not being in order, that was not my doing, it was from years of my narcissistic husband not allowing any boundaries to be enforced or respected.  If you are referring to my transparency in admitting to the 3 years I neglected my children, I WAS guilty as charged.  That is in the past, no longer happening, no longer my reality personally.  I do not neglect my children now.

I've been told there is no need to defend myself here...baloney.  There is no way to SURVIVE here WITHOUT having to PROVE who you are...am I a minister? yes.  ordained? yes.  seminary-trained? no and have no intention to be, nor would I ever recommend it to anyone either... the abuses regarding THAT are a whole OTHER story.

I am who and what I am and I'm very content to be so.  I am not content seeing people flip out over things that are not real threats.  I'm not content over knowing that people choose to stay as victims.  Jesus was not content with it either.

I expected to eventually see a post like yours.  You are free to view me as you wish.  God and some others know me and are fine with how I am as myself.  I'll not be jumping through hoops and having to prove what "right" I have to post how I do.  I will not be voiceless, although on here, I might need to be in order to stay, as I'm discovering more and more these days.

Back to square one for me.

~Laura

[changing]

Reallyme-

What I was speaking to in my post was your request for input regarding your stance and posts here on the Board.

As far as being a pastor or counselor, there are standards that help prepare a person for this work as well as protect those who use their services. One can obtain an "ordination" over the internet, but there are licenses and certifications that show realistic competencies and education has been achieved in both being a pastor and a counselor and therapist- that is what I was speaking to. To recommend a certain therapy or other or to employ it as a "counselor" could be harmful, and unless it is done on a friend to friend basis, should be left to professionals. Providing therapies to others without a proper background could be very harmful and even actionable.

As far as your household being under subjection,this is a Biblical requirement for Christian pastors only. I have not seen  this requirement as being qualified anywhere in the Bible by whether or not one person or another was at fault. I believe it is a standard qualification, for many practical reasons. My pastors have said that it shows leadership abilities, and gives the person experience when they can keep their own house under subjection. It also serves as an example, while the opposite would give an opposite example. There are other reasons as well. There are many things of great worth to do of valuable service in the Christian church, but one cannot always qualify to do all of them at any given time- though there is always something important to do that fits one's life as it is.

Of course you should be content to be who you are as a person- I defend your right to that here. I am fine with you as well, and think that you are a valuable person. But you asked for input on your stance and posts,and I gave an honest appraisal to you. I think that helping and healing others is a gift and a wonderful thing. But the practice of medicine and psychotherapy withput a license and training, etc is illegal and well should be. What you do is valuable, and your goals laudable. But what you do may not be Pastoral Counseling or therapy, and should fairly never be regarded or touted as such.

In speaking of problems that you share with all of us as far as abuse and life problems, I am referring to the problems themselves as the problems. I do not find the fact that you brought them up here problematic in any way- perhaps I have miscommunicated, or perhaps you have set up a straw man argument in order to dismiss these real issues that are the focus of why you are coming to this board, the same as we here all do.There has been no charge of guilt, etc- we are all her sharing what is wrong in our lives and seeking support. The concern that I addressed is that sometimes we might pretend that the problems have vanished and that we may be perfect, or "guilty as charged" with being perfect, or having some sort of knowledge that we do not have, or a magical right to violate the impartial respect that must be shown here.

As far as your problems being "in the past", it seems that though  you may have changed behaviors, the problems remain, just as mine do, and many others as well. Your eldest daughter is estranged and has been abused, your 18 year old is pregnant and unmarried , your husband you say is abusive- I am not criticizing, as I have many issues of my own thgat I have brought up here- this is what the Board is for. But these are the things that must be addressed, as a family unit, in order to gain stability and peace for the whole family. I commend your courage in dealing with these issues, and would not criticize you for speaking of them. But they are crisis issues in your life today, just as mine are.

We all go back to square one, as we revisit our challenges and further refine ourselves. That is the gift of support and feedback. I still do not know from your reply- do you have any education or clinical experience or certification by the Pastoral Counseling Association to conduct "counseling" and "therapy" on others? I think your aims are good, and support your goals, and value your contributions here.

Love and Best Wishes,

Changing

[reallyME]

In response to your question, yes I have "clinical" experience with pastoring.

I have been the pastor of my own small home-church, preached at several other churches, belong to bonafide ministries, am a professional pastor (I do get paid), and have been ordained.  Currently I am waiting for an update on my ordination papers by one of my mentors, who is also an ordained minister of a former church.

At first when I would post here, I mentioned nothing of my position spiritually, PURPOSELY.  There is often a stigma with people, attached to clergy.  Ive been subjected to it many times.  After I mentioned something about counseling, however, my credentials came into question, so I then presented myself as I am, a pastor (with gifts of evangelism, prophecy, deliverance, etc).

thanks for your interest and I did not mean this to sound snotty either.  Just answering your question is all.

~Laura

[Leah]

ReallyME:

I have been the pastor of my own small home-church, preached at several other churches, belong to bonafide ministries, am a professional pastor (I do get paid), and have been ordained.  Currently I am waiting for an update on my ordination papers by one of my mentors, who is also an ordained minister of a former church.

Dear Laura,

How does that work/fit in with your having to attend/belong to, the church of your husband's choice, as you have mentioned in your posts?

Which church body affiliation are you ordained by and hold credentials from?

Just wondering.

Leah

[changing]

Hi ReallyMe-

Thank you for your response to my question, What I was asking is, do you have qualifications for providing therapy, such as the Saturation Therapy and Regression Therapy in the title of this thread? Have you had education and clinical experience ( I do not believe holding religious services in your home qualifies as psychotherapuetic clinical experience but I will look that up) that are recognized by anyone other than yourself?  If not, I encourage you to continue your studies, and hope that you reach your counseling goal, but you might rethink what you do and how you characterize it, when you speak to people who need help- if you are not qualified to dispense therapy, you should not try to do so or say that you do so.I am sure that with work and time, you can someday get any qualifications and clinical experience you need, in order to appropriately help those in need as a licensed and certified therapist and counselor.

Also, someone named "Lupine" has just PMd me regarding "RM". I do not know Lupine, and am requesting here that they make any posts to me openly on the Board, where I can deal with them in public (may be a sock puppet, psycho troll doll or whatever) I adore the PMs that I have received in the past from known friends, but don't feel the same about this one. If they are a sock puppet, nutcase troll doll or whatever, I hope that they are removed ASAP from Board privileges. If they are legit, I would like to get to know them better, and make a new friend out in the open.

Love,

Chnaging

[reallyME]

The Well is the one I am currently being re-ordained through.  Pastor David of Alabama

I have been ordained through NEW BEGINNINGS CHURCH, by Reverend Pastor Barnard Walker (informal, hands laid on)
Through Pastor Gene Brack of Victory Life Church (also informal, hands laid on).

I did not have a big ceremony if that is what you were wanting to hear.  I was released into ministry by 3 ministers.  

As I said, I've pastored church in my home, baptized several, pastored at a wedding and funeral, and have preached at several churches as a guest of the pastors.

I have also been a children's church leader, a sunday school teacher and a VBS leader at several churches.  I have spiritual accountability through a ministry online and yes, I attend my husband's church out of wanting him to at least 'hear" some Bible things, as well as attending another church of my liking, where the Spirit flows freely.

I'm not sure if I qualify as a bonafide minister, even after saying all this, but that's what/who I am.

~Laura

[changing]

"Lupine" has removed the PM post, but not posted here. If Lupine is a sock puppet or psycho troll doll, I hope that appropriate actions are taken. and they are not given leave to continue. If they are friends , please post on the open Board.

Love,

Changing

[Leah]

The Well is the one I am currently being re-ordained through.  Pastor David of Alabama

I have been ordained through NEW BEGINNINGS CHURCH, by Reverend Pastor Barnard Walker (informal, hands laid on)
Through Pastor Gene Brack of Victory Life Church (also informal, hands laid on).

I did not have a big ceremony if that is what you were wanting to hear.  I was released into ministry by 3 ministers.  

As I said, I've pastored church in my home, baptized several, pastored at a wedding and funeral, and have preached at several churches as a guest of the pastors.

I have also been a children's church leader, a sunday school teacher and a VBS leader at several churches.  I have spiritual accountability through a ministry online and yes, I attend my husband's church out of wanting him to at least 'hear" some Bible things, as well as attending another church of my liking, where the Spirit flows freely.

I'm not sure if I qualify as a bonafide minister, even after saying all this, but that's what/who I am.

~Laura

Dear Laura,

From the above, you are not a bonafide minister, instead, a Lay Preacher who has had hands laid on and released into ministry.

Laura, you are not a Pastor, rather, you are a Lay Preacher.

But, I think you know that already.

Respectfully,

Leah

[changing]

Reallyme-

Again, I understand that you have an informal approval for your Bible work, etc. What I was asking was if have you gotten the requisite education, clinical training, and licenses,certification required for providing psychotherapy or counseling? If not, you might rethink what you do and what you call it- it is a worthy thing to listen to others and help, but that does not constitute therapy or make you a legitimate psychotherapist or marriage and family counselor. If you want to provide therapy and counseling on a professional basis you can get the tools that you need to do it properly through work and time, and I am sure that you would be great and a force for good.
In the meantime, people who need profesional help should be encourage to seek the help they need from a legitimate provider. If they are not getting the therapy they need this could be a terible and damagimg thing and may be illegal as well. At present, if you are not qualified, you can act as a loving and sympathetic friend.

Love,

Changing

[reallyME]

and THIS is exactly WHY I want no part of what 'man" requires of me to be a minister.  I have God's approval and the approval of other bonafide ministers as you call them, and, every person i have spoken to who has gone to seminary (CEMETARY they call it since it RUINS people), have urged me DO NOT GO.  IT WILL NOT BE GOOD FOR YOU AT ALL!

The truth is, seminary does NOT teach half the stuff I've learned already.  It's not needed, not a "requisite" to minister as you call it, and YES I am seen as a bonafide minister by many, whether or not you are part of those many.

I leave it there.

~Pastor Laura

[Leah]

Dear Laura,

So in effect, you see fit to disregard the Bible, wherein, it teaches, commands, that one should study to show oneself approved, and have ones life in order, as an example, then and only then, is one ordained/licensed with credentials and given an office of ministry, i.e. Pastor --- to be a shepherd/shepherdess overseeing the lives of others.

That's the truth, that's what the Bible says, in exegetical context.

Leah

[changing]

ReallyMe-

Hi-still have not gotten a response as to your credentials as a psychotherapist. Again, if you are not a trained and licensed therapist, you are not providing therapy, and legally should not hold yourself out as such. There are many religious people who have gotten training and education- these things are not mutually exclusive. There are Christian doctors, psychiatrists, psychlogits ts, marriage an family counselors- there are religious people of every faith who also get the knowledge and training for healing.
However, in this country one must have the proper licenses and education to conduct a medical or psychotherapy practice or to prescribe or treat- otherwise it is unethical, harmful and highly illegal. Of course, you can put on a bandaid or listen to someone's troubles as a friend. That is a loving and good thing to do.
If being a therapist is your desire, I know that you can do it with time and work, and contribute much to others in a new way.

Best,

Changing