Update on my daughter

[Hopalong]

Lighter, you asked me to fill in the blanks since I posted this on the other thread:

heard from my D and she's ecstatic. So thrilled the tropical weather and w/her apt. and eager for school to start. Her 2 blessed friends drove 18 hours with her and then helped her unload the truck and carry her belongings and furniture up two flights of stairs. Saints!

D and I had been struggling along, one big meltdown lately over her being so critical (late night phone call--when she was readying to move and I had lost a friend and she was pretty cold about it, being obsessed w/herself and her own anxiety at the moment, in a nutshell).

But then when I went to meet her to say goodbye (in a town near the state line, she was getting her car inspected, then moving 18 hours south the next day) -- our goodbye was a heart-melter. We had a long breakfast and she shared how scared she was and I told her how much faith I have in her, that she's completely capable.... The farewell really hit me. When we hugged goodbye I was fine, truly releasing her, and she wouldn't stop hugging me and then cried, and kept saying I love you, as we pulled out. I could suddenly see how much she really does love me, and how everything else just fell away when we were saying goodbye. I was sad she was sad but it was very healing for me to see her FEEL.

So and bulled through her fears and made the trip (calling me several times along the way). I had been very worried about the huge crime-ridden city, that she was picking an apartment off the internet, and no idea what kind of an area it's in...that really had me concerned.

She called with JOY in her voice: Mom, it's gorgeous, it was worth everything. It was worth it all. I've got a PALM TREE right off my balcony. Called again later: Mom I'm in heaven, just want you to know. Called again: Mom I can't wait for you to come down, and while i'm at school you can chill out on the beach or go to the gardens, and there's a pick-your-own strawberries (and other stuff) place I can WALK to, and the cats are happy--here listen to him purr--etc., etc. And she's met two neighbors, she speaks no Spanish but they speak English--a young woman with a tiny dog and an older man, both were friendly...then last night she called from her gf's father's place an hour north, where she and her two SAINT friends were gathered for NYEve, having drinks overlooking the canal, and she sounds SO SO happy and can't wait for school to start tomorrow, and says she can't wait for me to visit.

So all in all, I agree with her, it's all been worth it. I haven't heard such joy in her voice since before her Dad died.

She happy,
Me happy.

xxxooo,
Hops

[changing]

Hoppy-

You my dear are the bomb!!!! Your daughter knows that you are proud of her and trust her competence, in a way that only a mother can! This imbues her very cells with self-cofidence and self-acceptance and inner joy. She is most fortunate to have such a fantastic mother to share her joys and trials with, and such an exciting future to look forward to!I know that it has been so very hard for you , with the passing of her father, carrying the load of two on your slender shoulders, but you have done a spectacular job- Bless you both, you have done so well. Time to celebrate!!!!!!

Love to You and Your Daughter,

Changing

[Certain Hope]

((((((((((((Hops)))))))))))) Reading this brought me tears of joy for you both!

This is just exactly how it should be... released in love and with nothing but high hopes for new growth and the future coming together agains... Yay!!!!!!   I just knew she was only scared about making such a big break... and so very glad she can show you her feelings. Yay again!!
Aww...God bless and keep your big little girl in her new home (((((((((((((((Hops's Daughter)))))))))))))))
gotta go blow my nose.

 
So much love,
Carolyn

[lighter]

Give them roots and give them wings: )

I think you've done a splendid job of it, Hops.

She's learning about herself and about her relationship with you.

What happened with the car troubles, btw?  Did she ever go to the dealer and check out the car's history?

[Izzy_*now*]

Oh Hops,

 That is so wonderful. I am so happy for both of you.

Love
Izzy

[Hopalong]

Thank you.
(((((((((((((Carolyn)))))))))))). Tears of love.

All of you.

Lighter, her car is fine, just had to have its current sticker and she was in the wrong state. It is okay, for an oooold Volvo.

Changing, how DO you keep lifting us, me, us all. I don't know how you do it but I am each time so grateful.

(((((((((((Izzy))))))))))) I hope she'll grow up to be a lot like you.

love to all,
Hops

[Leah]

Oh Hops

Had to read your Joyous news again before responding.

Your daughter has Joy in her voice and you dear Hops clearly have Joy in your heart.    Just as it should be.

Clearly, your daughter has left all the stresses and heartaches behind and is now in a new place with a new fresh slate

and it couldn't be at a better time for both of you; the New Year, with New Beginnings, for you both, as dear friends.

My eyes filled with joy for you, and your dear daughter, who is joyfully looking forward to sharing her new life with you, soon.

How truly wonderful.

Much love,

Leah

[Bella_French]

Lovely news Hops! I am happy to hear the news about the two of you, and also that her move was so joyous for her! What a nice start to the new year!

X bella

[Gaining Strength]

she wouldn't stop hugging me and then cried, and kept saying I love you, as we pulled out. I could suddenly see how much she really does love me,

That is EVERYTHING.  I believed it was true and now you know it is.  All the other stuff is just her unfortunate way of dealing with her pain and loss.  Hold this in your heart forever.  How remarkable it is that you mothered so well even though you had no example to work from. 

The only thing i hope for is that my son truly loves me when he is an adult - not the obligatory but the true love.  So glad she gave you proof that you did a great job raising her.

[Hopalong]

Leah, Bella...
you're right, it is wonderful timing. 
Me, I'd just been worrying about her starting mid-academic-year.

But she'll be FINE!

Thanks, GS...and I have no shred of doubt that your son will love you when he's grown.
You're BOTH growing.

love,
Hops

[Lupita]

Good for you Hop. Besides, Florida is warm. You will love it.

[CB123]

Hops,

I giggled a bit when I read your post on this thread.  Arent kids something?  I have seen this happen so many times--I did it myself when I was her age--that I almost wait for it to come around.  They are so confused at this age--so torn between needing us and needing to pull away. 

She loves you, Hops.  She may hit the wall a few times because she thinks she can vent whatever she is feeling on someone she loves.  Unfortunately, if she carries that into other relationships, she may not get the same unconditional response she gets from you.  But that's how we grow--by hitting walls, getting up, dusting ourselves off and pulling up our big girl pants and learning from it.  She will grow, too.

I'm so glad your heart is more at ease.  Glad that you are more assured of her love for you.  This is hard, huh?  I went through something similar with one of my sons last year when he was hurting from his father's rejection.  It was very brief, but painful.  I am amazed at how he has grown and become more self-aware.  We just have to remember that they are on their own personal journey. 

Love you, Hops,

CB

[Hopalong]

((((((((((((((((CB)))))))))))))))))

Ya,
they're
a
barrel
o'
laughs...

 
xxoo thanks hon,
Hops