Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Been thinking about Father's Day
Anonymous:
Hi Nassim,
I do agree that we are dragging it on from the original topic this thread was started for.
Apart from that I think we will agree to disagree on the topic
Spirit
Anonymous:
--- Quote from: Anonymous ---But my point is I am not happy the way the majority of the world sees things. For example you call women the 'civilising force' and I am afraid thats how still many of us sees things.
--- End quote ---
Let me put it a different way. There is male energy (animus, yang, or whatever you want to call it) and female energy (anima, yin, etc.). For us to survive in the social world, for women and men to protect themselves from choosing destructive situations with the opposite sex, they might want to consider the male and female energies.
A woman who feels a physical longing for a man whom she doesn't know that well has to realize she is taking an emotional risk. For one thing, his male energy is probably more predominant than her male energy. And male energy is more about action, and female energy is more about intution and feeling. So if she has sex with this man, it's going to be a different experience for him and possibly not as emotional. This is not about women being on a pedestal, it's about male energy which is expressed mostly by action.
Now if the couple is in an actual relationship, the partners get into some kind of synch with their male/female energies. It has to be worked out over time and there are still problems along the way.
Men also get hurt by women. They have to consider whether the woman they're going to sleep with is a good choice. Men can make terrible choices in women and get hurt very badly (there's a male poster on this group who posted about it).
So I don't think this is about pedestals and the sexes sharing equally. It's about seeing red flags in a situation, and gauging whether having sex with this person is in everyone's highest interest.
bunny
Dawning:
--- Quote ---But I don't quite take your point and how it is germain to the problem of the poster on this thread. She obviously was a one night stand and was treated poorly by a young man with ill intentions or no intentions.
--- End quote ---
I am the original poster and my name on this board is Dawning. Nice to meet you, Nassim. I don't consider myself "a one night stand" although maybe I experienced that phenomenon recently. It was almost like a natural occurrence...I have never experience anything like that before. I see now that most men, upon being invited to my dwelling, would likely have forced themself on me but I have been lucky and not met too many of these types and, when I have, they have taken NO for an answer because I didn't give them a choice. I am still trying to figure out what happened because we didn't talk about things prior to the act. Would asking him his intentions/feelings beforehand have changed what happened though? As Nassim pointed out, some men WILL lie to have sex. I think the best thing to do in the future is to not let my energy/emotion/desire/intuition come together too quickly but use common-sense and make the man wait for awhile and NOT invite him to my place. Like I said, I wanted a girlfriend to talk with too.
--- Quote ---And male energy is more about action, and female energy is more about intution and feeling
--- End quote ---
Hmm...I consider myself to be pretty active -maybe even more than some men. But I do think there is a difference between how the action is felt and dealt with on the part of women and men. That is generally why men are not good belly-dancers and women are not good hockey players. :P
My issue is in why I did not talk about my feelings for him beforehand. That would have been wise and, perhaps, saved me some pain in the long run. And I thank you who have given your frank assessments for helping me along to see this.
--- Quote ---That "monk" line sounds really suspicious. I wonder if he's used it before to hook women. Seducing a monk is a pretty nifty fantasy, and he may have realized its potential (i.e., the woman would believe she is the "only one", and if she singlehandedly "turns him off" of celibacy, that makes her pretty powerful).
--- End quote ---
Heh. I can't help laughing a little at this. Thanks, Bunny. If he didn't use it before, he may be using it now. HAHAHA. Gotta be light this afternoon. Laughter is therapeutic too.
Another thing I've been thinking is that for women, sex is bound up together with feelings of love whereas for men, the feeling of love is not necessarily tied together with the act of sex. If I had a crush on this person - and it is very likely I did - perhaps my desires were also related to the craving I have for unconditional love from my parents. Accepting that I will not get it from them might help me avoid this scenario in the future.
*Spirit, I like the name you use on this board. I think it suits you. You said some things that I have thought about myself.
CG:
Hiya Dawning,
Wanted to say Hi :D , Venturing out here. Usually don't bother. hahahah
But had to say "WHOAAAAAHH SEXY MOMMA!"
Whatever change or enlightenment or refreshment that young man has experienced, he experienced it from YOU! YOUR FEMINITY! YOUR POWER! YOUR ESSENCE! You should feel good about that! :D He wasn't married. You didn't violate some sanctity here, in this interaction. And if you've learned something about yourself, and had a glimpse of some unattractive needy side of your own nature, and you can learn something from that too, so then good :D . But hey, sexy momma :D , don't feel bad or old or useless. It's still got currency :D , whatever your earth mother nature is. hahahahahahahah Thank God for that!:D
CG
PS. Tell his mates you're depressed and down because you feel bad that you mislead him. Tell them you feel sorry for him, 'cause he now thinks he's a Don Juan, fantastic in bed. And tell them you feel terrible, 'cause he was really really really bad at it. You were just makin' him feel good. It was the worst sex you'd ever had. Tell them that. hahahaha
Go Girl.
Anonymous:
--- Quote from: Dawning ---I am still trying to figure out what happened because we didn't talk about things prior to the act. Would asking him his intentions/feelings beforehand have changed what happened though?
--- End quote ---
His mind would have gone like this: "Oh, she wants to talk first." Sex is unlikely to be cancelled due to any discussion. And it's a rationalization to pursue the man afterward, referring to the discussion and wanting it to continue.
--- Quote from: Dawning ---I think the best thing to do in the future is to not let my energy/emotion/desire/intuition come together too quickly but use common-sense and make the man wait for awhile and NOT invite him to my place.
--- End quote ---
This is a wise course to take!
bunny
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