ok now, before some of you start saying "ohhh that's just that AGE" or "that's how ALL kids are or do" let me tell you that the criteria for personality disorders, is a PERVASIVE tendency to these habits, which Anna definitely had and still has in some ways.
As an infant, I could not carry Anna over my shoulder. she always had to be facing outward so she could watch everything and everyone.
At 2 months, 7 years old, Anna looked at me and said, "Get my socks, MAID!"
At 7 months old, I took a sharp-edged fridge magnet away from Anna. I told her "don't touch it!" She looked at me and said "I like it. I like it."
At a year old, Anna was hugging her sister, Carol, and when I tried to talk to Anna, she put her hand over my lips and said "STET UP!" (shut up) and went right back to hugging her sister.
At 2 years, we were at my foster mom's house, eating dinner. Anna grabbed my hand to pray over the food, and when my foster father didn't comply, she glared at him until he was willing to pray too.
Also at this age, my mother in law, whom we lived with, would often forget to shut the cupboard doors, and Anna would walk around behind her, slamming them shut, waving her pointer finger, and scolding my mother in law in baby gibberish.
At 3 years old, Anna's older sister Carol, left the outside door open. Anna said to her, "Shut the door. You're letting the dollars fly out the door!!"
At 4 years, Anna wrapped up animal crackers in wrapping paper as a gift to herself (she loved to buy things for herself a lot)
Also at 4 yrs, Anna had a brilliant idea to keep the cats from getting stung by the bees in the hive underneath our outside staircase. She told me, "I'll tape the bees nest with a towel so they can't get out, but carol has to hold it."
At 5 years old, Anna and I were on a walk together. She brought herself some food, but I asked her what she'd do if she got thirsty. Her reply, "I'll just have to live with it."
Again at 5, I made homemade macaroni. Anna told me, "Your a good cook, that's all i know." I asked her 'but what if you didn't like the macaroni?" she said, "Then I'd just have to replace it." I asked her, "What does that big word "replace' mean?" she said " to take it back."
***some of these things sound sooooo cute, cause it's coming from a young child, however, along with these behaviors, I also wrote these things:
At 2 years old, when Anna would get mad at me she would call me STUPID ROTTEN HOMEWORK.
Also at this age, Anna asked me for some 'privacy.' (and yes, she knew what it meant too, even at 2)
she often would shout at me, 'don't contradict me!"
At 4 years old 'Anna is once again trying to get her temper under control. we've tried approaches such as spanking, withdrawl of priviledges, faces (hung on fridge pictures of faces expressing moods, to teach Anna to share feelings), time outs,. i'll write back as soon as she is successful." (never did write back on that)
Also at 4, when I was pregnant with Randi, my midwife told Anna about a doppler stethoscope and how water would boil if you put it in it. that night, while taking a bath, Anna was getting frustrated, because the water in the tub wouldn't boil. she had taken her toy stethoscope and put a baggie over it!
At age 5 Anna has a bad, violent temper after eating food dyes and is very possessive and perfectionistic. She gets easily frustrated and angry
At age 10, she is stubborn and feisty, would rather create things than do chores. Gets angry at unfairness of life. She tends to blame people when things don't go her way.
Anna had a lot a times where she burned her tongue on tea, fell down, got bruises, felt a lot of pain from accidents. She was the one child who was the most ill...lice, flus, hand, foot n mouth disease. she had extreme food allergies and sensitivities.
I think Anna was born with the traits and issues she has. I think they got worse as time went on, because she was very domineering and manipulative at such a young age, which I was not used to from her older sister at all. I can't say i handled everything wrong, because I really don't believe I did. the typical things that work with most "normal" children, were LOST on Anna. She was too smart for her own good and she knew that.
At this point, Anna and I are doing better, since the rag-snapping situation. I find that she has very litte respect when I let her mockery and cruel verbal abuse "get to" me. She seems to lay off more when I let things roll off me. She thinks that cruelly treating someone, is just "joking" and that they should just let it go. So, I'm playing with her rules though not walking on eggshells. It seems to work well, since I can't really do much with an 18 year old who feels she owns the universe.
Thanks for reading. I welcome all comments.
~Laura
