Being Able To See Life As It Is

[Ami]

I  am going in to the next phase of healing. 
I see that I have to look at life,as it is, not as the  N TOLD  me it was.
The life  building blocks from the N must be thrown out:  ideas, viewpoints, thinking.All of it was an N lie:who I am, my worth, value, self concept.
  What is left? Seeing the truth with my OWN eyes. I had to shut them down and see only what the N wanted me to see.I was asleep ,like the princess in the fairy tale.
  Now, my eyes can open.
  I can "see" people: their faces ,expressions, voices. I can figure out situations ,using my intuition,not superimposed with N thinking.
  It is a new world, as I drop N things by the side of the road, on the trash heap ,where they belong.
   I still have depths to plumb :things I haven't faced. I have to keep looking and seeing. They key is facing it all--inside myself and outside,until the lies are gone.

[Overcomer]

Yes Ami-This is the mystery for me.  I KNOW what is right.  I know what to eat but I do not eat it.  I know I am supposed to exercise but I do not do it.  I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made but I do not treat myself that way.  Why?  Because those negative self tapes play inside my head all day long.  Yes I have separated myself from my mom but there must be an unhealthy soul tie there-something that needs to be broken!

[Ami]

Yes ,Kelly. You hit it on the head. It is the deep parts of ourselves that still believe our Moms.That is the hard part.The hardest part for me is that my M made me feel like I was "bad". I think that I am just "human" ,with 'human falings. However, she made me feel like I was a "bad" person who couldn't trust myself.
 In the deepest recesses of my heart, I BELIEVE what she said. That is the problem. When you are brainwashed, it is a deep brainwashing.
 When I get so low and so dispairing of ever getting rid of the brainwashing, I remember that my despair brought me to God. Even if I screw up this life ,royally,which I already have(lol), there is another life after this. That one, I "can't " screw up(LOL)
 That helps me, Kelly.           Love   Ami
 

[Overcomer]

Well this Bible study I am taking talks of grand canyon sized pathways in our brains.  Very hard to erase and replace with normal sized positive neuro pathways.  Problem is those big ones are there!  I did hear that if you do not nourish those negative thoughts they will eventually shrivel up and go away but good luck not going there.

[Ami]

Please, Kelly.
Talk more about what you have learned ,if you can, about erasing these pathways.Do you  really think that you CAN erase them if you don't allow the negative thoughts to keep repeating?
               Ami

[Overcomer]

Yes.  She gave up a list of negative lies we tell ourselves and then a corresponding Bible verse that counters the lie.  There are tons of them.  I will try to get my computer to work to pound out some examples.  I have also heard that if you buy positive self talk tapes and listen to them all the time they will eventually - eventually erase those negative tapes playing in our brains!

[Ami]

I can find them myself ,Kelly. Thanks anyway. You have enough to do. I have seen the list in books,but I never used it,consistently.
For me, prior to this, I could not get God ,in my heart, b/c it was too filled up with pain. As I let the pain go, He enters in ,more.
On Saturday, I was at a worship service, The music was beautiful.,I just closed my eyes and cried b/c  I loved God so much and I felt His presence.
 I could not "attach" to him before . It must have been that all the N lies, distortions and" garbage" which were blocking my connection.      Ami

[Overcomer]

Well, here I am at a computer.  Here are some:  I am a loser, I can't do anything right.......I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me..Phil 4:13

Nobody loves me...........For God so loved the world that he gave His one and only Son...John 3:16

I am so worried about this.....Do not be anzious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petitions, with THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God which transcends understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus...

Lots more....

Then she talks about a book written by Louis L. Hay........Your Mind is a Tool.  She says this lady has a different world view than she does so when the author says something about Mother Earth she replaces that with God....but anyway she talks about countering the negative self talk...

Growing older frightens me..........My age is perfect and I enjoy each new moment I live...

I feel like a failure......My life is a success and setbacks do not define my worth or value.  God is always working to direct us towards goodness.  I just need to be still and listen for His guidance.

Nobody asks me or cares what I think.......My opinions are valued by people who respect other's opinions and thoughts.

[Ami]

Kelly,
  Those are wonderful ,They ARE truth. We just have to let them supercede the truth of our M's.That is the hard part--isn't it.? I love Louise Hay .                                                           Ami

[Overcomer]

Never read her but I think I will pick this book up.......it has to be constant affirmations.  Shad Helmstetter says that we need to hear positive affirmations.....not say them ourselves.  Something about hearing someone else say..YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND SMART AND SUCCESSFUL AND HAVE WHAT IT TAKES, ETC.  Undo a world of negativism..............However, it will take some years to undo over 40 years of self esteem bashing talk.

[Ami]

I want to thank everyone who responded to this thread and all of my posts. I feel  a greater sense of peace and centeredness. I think that it is about facing the truth about yourself, little by little.
  I am very thankful that I have to place to come and people to share with.               Love    Ami

[emptied]

Overcomer,
    I too have had experience with those books and at one point actually helped some people make some tapes with them. I think that he is sooo wonderful. I know that in Recovery Wellness Action Planning classes the folks who were really well on their way to recovery said that one of the tools that they had found most helpful was affirmations every single day. Most folks said they did them early in the day as it set a positive tone and got them off on the right foot.

E