I had to choose in order to not give up and die back in 1998

[reallyME]

Years ago when I went through some spiritual abuse and was placed with a mentor who taught me how to overcome it

The things that I learned, which radically saved my life, physically, emotionally, spiritually, if I share them here, are sure to have some of you saying "that's prideful, narcissistic, I don't live with the Bible as my guideline, etc.  This is where the line is drawn for me.  All are free in this world to believe as you will.  I"m sharing what has worked for me.

You see, after being abused by N's, my self talk used to be like this:

This always happens to me
History keeps repeating itself
I must be awful to attract such pain into my life
WHy me?
I can't live without her
How do I go on now?
Life isn't worth living anymore
I don't trust ANYONE and I never will again
Nobody is ever going to hurt me again
People are all crooked, twisted, imbalanced
Nobody is what they appear to be
There's no hope
Why bother?
They all leave me.
I just wanna die.

This negative self-talk, if I had continued in it, would have killed me.  I was very suicidal and hopeless, and believing this negativity did not help me one bit.  I was dwelling in a deep pit that had no way out of it, except looking UP!


Now that I've said that, here is what literally saved me...these beliefs and "knowings"

I am the righteousness of God in Christ
I am the head and not the tail
I am above and not beneath
Everything I lay my hand to prospers
Pressed down, shaken together, running over do men give unto me
No harm shall befall me, no plague come near my dwelling, no weapon formed against me shall prosper
I have not been given the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind
I have the mind of Christ
I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me
All things are possible for me who believes
Greater is He that is within me than He that is in the world
My latter shall be greater than my former
I am fearfully and wonderfully made
God desires to do good things for me and prosper me and give me a future!

Things like that.  This is what restored my life...knowing these things were true.  Of course, there are other gurus who have taught positive affirmations and those are good too.  My point is, our minds were not created to dwell on negative, dismal, depressing things.

I've often heard Ami talk about her "core"  As for my core, I want it to be steeped in the awesome, positive beliefs about life, about me, etc.  Knowing how awesome I was and am because of who I belong to, is why I am even still here to talk about it.

~Laura

[Leah]

Things like that.  This is what restored my life...knowing these things were true.  Of course, there are other gurus who have taught positive affirmations and those are good too.  My point is, our minds were not created to dwell on negative, dismal, depressing things.

Dear Laura,

The danger is that in adopting the Christian Positive Only Confession, that one is absolutely clueless of life, has no awareness of people and behaviour and remains bound by the abusiveness of others.  That's how spiritual abuse is executed.

I know, it happened to me 15 years ago, and I had no idea why, no idea why they were behaving as they did, bewildered as I thought that Positive Faith Confession would bring freedom, yet, I was bound, even more bound than previously.

Awareness is life breathing and so is finding the tools to equip oneself to go out there and live a life with fullness and hope.

A healthy middle ground of mature balance is a sure foundation for living in freedom, with no chains. 

There is both negative and positive in life's tapestry, it is how we deal with the negative, with the right tools, that makes the difference. 

Else, denial does it's deadly work.  Denial is not life breathing or life enhancing.  It is a state of perpetual hopelessness.

Speaking from my personal life experience.

I have just posted on the 'chains' thread of a workbook that was wonderful for me during my time of Post N turmoil ...

>  Beth Moores  ~  Breaking Free    'making liberty a reality in life'  working on mending a heart that has been broken,

positively removing the ashes, the obstacles in ones life, which has one bound, and then becoming healed and free, walking with honor and liberty. 

from Chains of Bondage .... to Freedom, with peace in ones heart.  Best stress reliever that I know of.   

Love, Leah

Thing I try to remember is that we each stand at a different stage of our own journey and take time to stand a while, to look at an aspect in our own life experience that relates to us as an individual, and work it through to reach an understanding, and gain a tool for application in our life.

[Ami]

BEAUTIFUL-- Laura and Leah!
 THank you so much.             Ami

[reallyME]

Oh Leah...I am a HUGE fan of Beth Moore, Joyce Meyer and Cloud and Towsend, and many others.  I use the Bible and many other books to formulate my self-talk each day.

My point was, yes, you should admit that you are struggling in the flesh, however, the spirit is already doing just fine.  The flesh needs to come into alignment with the spirit and the confession has to speak those things "which be not, as though they were."

I'm only speaking in reference to a person who is not stuck (by no choice of their own) in a narcissistic situation.  I'm in my situation, my marriage, by choice, but I'm not letting it get into me.

I agree with you that someone who is living say, with narcissistic parents, who is trying to confess that the situation is not what it is, is dangerous.

When I was with X, I didn't say "oh thank You Jesus that I am free" because in actuality I was far from it.  My prayer to Jesus at that point was, "Why do you have me here?  What is Your purpose in me going through all this, Lord?"

When I finally healed, thanks to God and my spiritual mom, I was able to say "Many are the troubles of the righteous but the Lord delivers him out of them all!"

It all depends, as you say, where you are at on the path of life.  Balance in all things, but still I'd rather speak positive.

~Laura

[Leah]

Dear Laura,

Yes, my personal choice is to think and speak positive, as I believe I do in the main.  That's how come I am no longer enmeshed with any N's in my life and live absolutely free, in liberty.  And my hope is to stay that way.

However, I will talk to a trusted person and discuss something negative, to reach a positive outcome, and vice versa.  Will never press down or deny a negative of life.

The difference is, having an open teachable heart. 

Positive only faith confession has proven to be, and is, harmful and not healthy, as affirmed by many notable sensible Christians.

Beth Moore speaks of negative throughout her book!!!!   With Positive outcome.    Giving Freedom and Liberty for a healthy life.

Love, Leah

[reallyME]

However, I will talk to a trusted person and discuss something negative, to reach a positive outcome, and vice versa.  Will never press down or deny a negative of life.

Same here, Leah.  I will share things I'm struggling with, but then I will say "Thank You, Jesus, that this situation is going to change because You promised to work all things together for my good."

[Leah]

However, I will talk to a trusted person and discuss something negative, to reach a positive outcome, and vice versa.  Will never press down or deny a negative of life.

Same here, Leah.  I will share things I'm struggling with, but then I will say "Thank You, Jesus, that this situation is going to change because You promised to work all things together for my good."

Yes, Laura

And, believe me when I say, I do give all glory praise and honor to whom it is due, not I or any other. 

I just don't post that onto the board for respect and consideration to other members.  Also, being in mind, that my prayers are not for anyone else other than the intended hearer, whom we both know, love and serve. 

Love & Peace,

Leah