Dear Ami, Your M may be evil, or just capable of acts of evil sometimes. I think of `psychopaths' as the evil ones, because they consciously think out their actions, fully aware of the pain and harm they cause. N's tend to react to what feels good, and what feels bad, perhaps like everyone else. But their actions can be so harmful, I wonder whether it really matters if they are motivated by unconscious needs or not??
Ami, may I ask, what are you ashamed of? Is there anything `real'? You are a lovely , beautiful woman, loved by many people, generous and loyal to friends, funny, honest, a great listener, a good mother of two sons. What else do you expect to be, Ami? What more can a woman be? I know how you feel though; I struggle to accept myself too, but i am half the woman you are. I am not beautiful and i struggle against my shame for being like this, and I do not have a home or a family, or any wealth. I have good things though, that I am grateful to have - my aprtner's companionship each day, and his love, animals around me, some passions to keep me interested in life. But its so much less than what you have Ami. I could only dream of being in your position some day!
I suppose I'm getting side-tracked now, sorry Ami. I am sorry your stomach problems are still bad, and i admire you for continuing to try to work through that.
X bella
