I am so angry at my H . I never took drugs,but I feel like I had a drug trip where ,all of a sudden, you see your whole life ,with clarity, almost in an instant. People jump from high floors when this happens(lol)
I saw my life, in patterns.
First, my M denuded me.I took on all the pain, shame, guilt, fear for her. That made me "ready" to do the same for him.Also, to top it off, they colluded against me together ,for years(until after the Janet thread when I "beat" them both down)
My H still wants to destroy me. I saw it all today, as he tried to collude with my parents ,again, against me, but my M will not do it anymore.My M DID change, strangely enough.
My H is like the dog who will always jump on the sofa ,unless you beat him with a whip. I am the "human whip" that has to keep beating him down.
I must be able to see all this reality, at one time, or I wouldn't.
How I can come out of ALL this denial so fast and lose my son at the same time is quite a feat. Somebody up there must have a lot of confidence in me(lol) Ami