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What are the things, gifts your N gives you?

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flower:
I edited this down because it was too long..
What does your N give you for gifts or otherwise? I'd love to read your stories.

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Thanks so much for your insight and support.
 It aided my healing. Too much of my heart
was in this post to let it remain here for posterity on the web.
The post served its purpose and now it is time to
edit it or gently take it down.
 
To every thing there is a season, and a time
to every purpose under the heaven:  Ecclesiates 3:1

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gardener:
Ditto the furniture, I got rid of the last piece by dismantling it in the house and throwing it in a skip. It's almost like the items become little anchors for them, a way they can be present in your life without having to physically be there. Getting rid of the items can be quite 'cathartic'. (I think this term refers to a group of people who used to burn everything before they moved on) The Aboriginal way was to burn the ground so that new growth could be free to push its way up. It's a freeing up of yourself from old burdens and starting new life. it's such a feeling of renewal, not destructive.....just a moving ahead without the old baggage.

Anonymous:
My (deceased) MIL wanted to pay for things and then control what we bought with the money. Unfortunately my H got caught in this trap because he was enmeshed with her. But she can't do it now, being dead.

My mother does needlepoints that she gives me, and I am supposed to display them and not have any other home decor. I defied this and got other decor but I also display her needlepoints. Fortunately, they're pretty nice. I dared to decline a few because I just didn't like them. She sulked but eventually got over it.


bunny

P.S. to flower: I think your mother's gifts are signs of mental illness.

Anonymous:
Hi again gardener!


--- Quote ---It's almost like the items become little anchors for them, a way they can be present in your life without having to physically be there.
--- End quote ---


That's says it exactly!  I  felt my mom very strongly in my emotions  for a very long time as I went around the house, using her stuff and felt horribly depressed before we got rid of the stuff.

Thanks for the cultural information on new beginnings. It was helpful to me and very positive.


Hi bunny, thanks for the response!


--- Quote ---my H got caught in this trap because he was enmeshed with her.
--- End quote ---

The word 'enmeshed' says it all. Thankfully, I woke up to the sickness.

Yes, she's a doozy.  It seems like there is nice mentally ill and mean mentally ill. I think you all know which category my mom fits in.

flower

Anonymous:
Hi CJ

Please hang in there. Keep looking for ways to move out! Explore lots of options. Try different organizations. Maybe you could meet more friends while pursuing a common interest and eventually find a room mate.  Please keep trying. You deserve to move out.

flower

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