Breaking the rules

[axa]

Most of my life has been spent trying to understand the "rules" and with Nparents the rules are written on the wind so it has been a difficult journey.  I always try and abide by the rules and somehow this makes me feel very childish, not that I think anarchy is the way but it feels like a desperation rather than a mature knowing.  Recently I have tried breaking the rules........ at university students are asked to park on the street rather than in the car park, which means the car park is empty a lot of the time.  Well, I have started to park in the car park and break the rules.  I cannot tell you how liberating this is.  If I am asked not to do it I will park on the street but there is something about challenging authority when it does not make any sense.  This may seem bizzare to all of you but it feels like I am claiming something.  I guess I am acting out stuff I should have done as a kid and never did.  I feel quite bold and have to say I like the feeling. 

I know it is inappropriate what I am doing but somehow this feels like a big step on my own journey.  By the way there is never a shortage of parking spaces in the car park so its not like I am depriving anyone of their space.

Feeling a bit devilish and joyful!!!!!!


axa

[write]

some rules don't make sense or are exclusive...I have started challenging some of them too Axa. If I go to a church and hear something unpleasant from the pulpit I write to the minister and ask for an explanation and if I get bad service I let the people know I will be going elsewhere!

It is claiming something- our right to be heard.

[Gaining Strength]

This isn't breaking the rule but it is in line with Write's post.  Last Friday I was taking my son to the Dr. and was listening to kind old Dave Ramsey on the radio when he said " blah, blah, blah and a whole lot of cr*p blah blah blah."  My son called attention to it and asked me to explain why a man I had said was a good role model was using such language.  I said I would e-mail him and I did.  Here is the second e-mail I got from his staff.

"I don't consider that a profanity.  Apparently Dave doesn't either.  I
live in the Bible belt and have heard pastors use it.  "

Does that surprise anyone here besides me?


Axa - you go - I'm all for parking in the car park.

Write - way to go.  That sounds like taking care of yourself - as long as you don't fall into my trap and expect an apology or a change.  When will I learn.  It has to be enough to express your concern.  Well done.

[Leah]

"I don't consider that a profanity.  Apparently Dave doesn't either.  I
live in the Bible belt and have heard pastors use it.  "

Does that surprise anyone here besides me?


Surprises me, GS

Leah x

[Gaining Strength]

Thanks Leah - it really helps to get your affirmation.  It seemed so obvious to me but I was wondering what truck I fell off.  I am not naive and not particularly prudish but I am astonished at what has happened to our culture that in general it is thought no big deal to expose our children to bad language - language that no school I am aware of would allow.  It used to be common decency to avoid such public language and it was kept among private conversations.  No surprise that it is acceptable in music and movies but radio that considers itself upright and above board.  It is very confusing to me.

[Leah]

Dear GS,

Refreshing to engage with someone likeminded.  I never ever heard my father use bad language.  In fairness, my exNH never used bad language.  I always understood the saying "that men at work use bad language, some, not all"  but, never in front of women and children.  Then, wham, it kind of changed overnight!!!  It is the norm in schools now!   Likewise, confused and bewildered.

Leah x

[Overcomer]

Yep................I think a lot of things have become more acceptable.  I have always had a clean mouth and my friends from high school wonder why I do not cuss.  But a few words have gained acceptance.  My mom used to go off the deep end with the word butt.  Now it is pretty common place.  Crap doesn't seem bad to me at all but sh*t does.

People say something p*sses them off a lot and that still seems like a cuss word.....

As far as breaking the rules...............I definitely will speak up.  Some people may consider me a b*tch................that's another word I use sometimes when someone is just awful and it happens to be a woman..................but if people cut or I get bad service I speak up.  And just Friday I was in a parking garage and someone was tailgating me....I was irritated.  So I saw a spot but I was just past it so I put it in reverse and started backing up (I saw her in the rear view and my car beeps when you get too close............I was teaching her a lesson.....)  She honked.  I laughed.  Serves you right!!

[Gaining Strength]

Likewise - I never heard my N father use profanity, nor my BPD late H use profanity.  In fact though my husband would rail at me out of his pain he never used profanity and didn't believe in it.  My husband was absolutely no prude.  It is disappointing that people who receive so much by being in public view and claim to live by a higher standard have no sensibility about what such language does to children.

Each and every day my 7 year old and I rehash my admonishion to him about choosing his words carefully.  I don't allow him to use the word "hate" even in a casual way because he is quick to say he hates a buddy and I personally believe that is a slippery slope to allowing hatred to brew in his heart.  Call my crazy, call me old-fashioned, call me outdated.

[Leah]

Call me old-fashioned, that's how I reared my son.  He does not use bad language and is courteous, good natured, and respected.
Love him to bits, but, have handed him over to his girlfriend      who is a lovely young lady with the same upbringing.  Leah x