Next Board Lesson

[Ami]

I try to take board interactions  and learn . What was  MY part in it?That is the key question and the only part I have control over. I am trying to heal two issues ,right now.  One is fear of people. I am trying to go" in' to the fear and see what I am telling myself, when I am afraid(which "lies")
  I started this process. yesterday, and I had a surprising experience that set me ahead on the path(lol).
  Someone treated me in a way that I have been trying to avoid,since my teens. Someone did ALL the things I am  afraid of.They humiliated me(publicly), demeaned me, shamed me, caused me to feel unglued, worthless, embarrased, uncertain, afraid, not knowing how to cope, paralyzed etc.
 What lesson is in it? I am ONLY responsible for MY responses ,not any  other person's actions. What a lesson.I should have paid for it,not gotten it free(lol).
  This lesson is one that many threads address,in different ways. If the N calls us a "chair", ARE we a chair? If any person calls us "anything"---WHO is it that lets us be defined.?  It is us,ultimately.
 That is the lesson.                             Ami

[Leah]

Dear ((((( Ami )))))

That is what I have learned, very much so.

That I may be a "comfortable chair" fit for a purpose for a season, useful for someone's own agenda, then simply Discarded, no longer seen as useful -- to them.

As I learned that I was simply Objectified ............ I was just simply treated as an Object.   

Then, suddenly, I was no use to the person anymore. 

However,

in knowing my authentic self -- I know who I am, and I am able to BE, responsiblie and accountable, for my own thoughts, and actions.

I don't have to give my permission to anyone -- I will not allow anyone to be Intrusive into my inner core self -- my heart, my soul.

I have an inner peace, joy and deep contentment.

I can stand -- "Knowing them by their fruits"  --- knowing with an awareness -- by what they do -- by what I see --

as in an awareness of emotional and verbal abuse -- Being Aware and on Guard for the protection of my heart and soul, my Self.

With healthy emotional boundaries.


Ami -- I remain saddened that you have had to endure emotional and verbal abuse, especially, in view of your time of loss and grief.

Your strength and courage in the midst of it all, is awesome and encouraging.  You are on the right path.

Thoughts of you,

Leah x

[Ami]

Thank you,Leah.
 Our inherent worth HAS to be in God.The world tosses and turns us so much, even in the bestof  lives, that we will be permanently unglued ,if we take our security from it.
 This must be  a Life 101 lesson that I did not learn, as I was trying to survive an N mother(lol).             Love,  Ami

[Leah]

Dear Ami,

Yes, that is my heart also, as with the renewing of one's mind In Christ, we know who we are in God, who is the source of our inherent worth.

We are a new creation in Christ and there is no condemnation.

Ann has been sent by God, as a woman of Godly wisdom, His humble vessel -- it has truly encouraged and uplifted my soul, to see. 

[whereas bible brow beating babble serves no purpose, other than shallow self gratification - I honestly abhor it in any guise]

Ami, your heart is open to God, than is clearly evident, and He will heal your broken heart with His wisdom.

Personally, I am truly grateful that God is in charge!

Hope today is a blessed day for you.

Love, Leah x

[Ami]

You know, the only thing that hurts is 'truth". If s/one called me some name that was not me,at all, it would not hurt. A name only hurts ,if you believe it, yourself.
 Well, of course ,it was my fault and my H's fault that my son committed suicide. It is a taboo to say it,but it IS true. Who else's fault could it be?This IS truth,not platitudes.
 This type of truth is like prejudice. We,all have it,but we can never "say" it, or we must say it,in hushed tones.
 Of course,I judge myself and I should.
 Ann prayed with me to leave my judgement with God. I did that,but of course, I am human and take it back, although I shouldn't.
 So, with everything, truth will set you free. I am at fault and I should be judged , I AM judged and I judge myself.I have judged many people,in similar circumstances. That is the truth, no matter how harsh it sounds.It is simply the truth.
 You shall know the truth and the truth will make you free.
  The second truth is that God forgives us, so no man has a place to do otherwise.             

[Ami]

Dear Amber,
 Thank you for your response. .
 I had an experience a few weeks ,ago. I was walking in to my kitchen and an impression hit me. It was that I could be well and whole, if I could ONLY face the truth about myself and life.
 It was a deep "knowing" that this would be the way out of any "craziness".
 Of course, at times of trauma ,our truth can be  skewed, based on emotions, as you said.
 However, the overall principle (facing truth)strikes me as the 'map" out of  old , dysfunctional  patterns.         Love   Ami

[Leah]

Dear (((( Ami )))))

The second truth is that God forgives us, so no man has a place to do otherwise.    

That is what I am saying to you Ami, that there is no condemnation in Christ, we are forgiven by God, and God remembers it no more.

So therefore, we need not remember it either.  That truth really does set us free.

For example:

I seek forgiveness, from another person as I genuinely apologize to the person, [as I have done here on the board for example]

I am forgiven by the person, so therefore, it should be remembered no more, that is, if the person was genuine [works both ways].

With God:

I seek forgiveness, from God through His Son, Christ, and I receive forgiveness, and God remembers it no more.  It is forgotten.

It is forgotten, forever, by God [if my heart and repentence is genuine].  

The fruit of that is displayed for all to see -- in that I try not to repeat again whatever it was that I did.

Ami .... you are forgiven by God [for whatever; that is personal and private -- between you and God]

 --- therefore it is forgotten by God.

No man or woman has the right to upsurp God -- by an act of mud raking or flinging -- or by Covert Abuse.

No-one can sit on God's throne ........... and absolutely no-one has the right to define you.  

I sincerely hope this helps give you peace and rest, Ami.

Love, Leah

[Ami]

Dear Leah,
  Ann told me that after we prayed for God's forgiveness for me, I SHOULD leave it there. She told me that I must not "take it back".
 She said that I would be "disobeying",if I did.
 I have to keep remembering to leave it there.                                                                 Love, Ami

[Leah]

Dear ((( Ami )))

If God remembers no more -- we are in effect "disobeying" Him. That is true. Why would we want to undo the work that He has done for us?

"Leaving it with God" gives peace and rest.

Love to you,

Leah


     Guarding our heart and soul --- in not allowing anyone to to be Intrusive --- is the Key to a Life --- with God's peace and rest.

[Leah]

Amber is right ((((((( Ami ))))))))

Please don't let what has just happened take you of your wonderful new path.

I have been greatly encouraged and uplifted by your new path Ami.

Love, Leah
 

[Gaining Strength]

I don't believe that you and your husband are responsible for Scott's death.  I believe the hopelessness and the opportunity came together at a terrible point in time.  He couldn't see what you could see - that he did have an opportunity for his future. 

You couldn't know what a terrible place he was in nor that he would come unglued and have a gun in his possession.  You couldn't know, noone could know.  Had you known you wuld have done anything and everything to prevent it. 

You are not at fault.  I believe that Scott would tell you that.

I wish you would connect to some grief groups that have particular knowledge with suicide.  I think you need that.  I am going to try to see if I can find out about some and send that information.

[Leah]

Dear ((((( Ami )))))

You have shared what Ann has said, of what you believe; that we have Inherent Worth in God -- which is the truth.  You have worth.

Scott would want you to love yourself.

I am posting this for you, about a woman,  if you wish to read it, about God's love for you, and loving yourself, as God loves you.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

Psalm 40:1-11

“Living with Love in Our Hearts”

What is “it”?

In any language, “it” is the most powerful expression of the most powerful emotion and experience in the world.

“It” is what everyone is looking for.

“It” is something everyone is starving for.

“It” is something many people have not yet experienced in this often cruel world.

“It” is why Jesus came and died.

“It,” of course, is “Love.”

An old song says: “You’re nobody till somebody loves you.”   If so … then everybody is somebody -- because God loves us all!!!

But, as I said, not everyone knows about the love of God.

    I was speaking with a colleague this past week who has been ministering to a woman who could not love herself.

… due to a self-loathing.

She is a woman who has never experienced unconditional love.

The love of God is what changes us.

The love of God is what gives us a hope and a future.

The love of God is what gives us self-worth.

The love of God is what allows us to love others!

Karl Menninger once said, “Love cures people — both; the ones who give it -- and the ones who receive it.”

Jesus opened our eyes to the true nature of love in Matthew Chapter 22:

       “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.

This is the first and greatest commandment.

And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”


If God loves you, then how much more can you love you, dear Ami.   You have an Inherent Worth in Him - you are loved.

love, Leah x

[Ami]

Oh Leah
  That is so profound. I love the Karl Menninger quote. I love that post,Leah. Thank you.            Love Ami