Hello all, I am feeling very frustrated & like my nerves are going to jump out of my chest. I have just been blessed with the second relationship in my life (being conservative, actually there were afew others that were not too great), The first was to an alchoholic for 16 years who was emotionally & physically abusive. This recent one was to a guy that I met 4 years ago , dated for one month & he dissappeared & finally called & said he & his wife were getting back together. Ran into him last summer at a dance, He asked me to dance & proceeded to reel me in. He wanted a secaond chance & said he was stupid for giving me up 4 years ago. We got together & at first I was cautious , but he convicede me he was truly in love with me & stared talking about our future together. He then moved in with me this past december. It was ok at first, & he just kept telling me how much he cared & loved me. He started drinking heavily & staying out all night ,even when his ten year old little girl was with us on the weekends. I confronted him about this, & he denied a drinking problem. His personality abruply changed. He became very cold, would just ignore me. He would not tell me what was wrong. Then finally one day, he said he did not think he loved me anymore & felt that since his divorce, he had become used to not having to answer to anyone & thought he wanted to live by himself. Howevder, He said this was hypothetical & he was going nowhere at that time. I confronted him about his coldness towards me & told him he had no right to come into my home, & cause such misery. He was just plain mean with his attitude that last few weeks. Prior to that, he was talikng about growing old together, that we we should talk in terms of our money, etc. ,etc.. I was stupid & gave him access to my bank account because I thought we were getting married. He also encouraged his little girl to get close to me & we got along well. I loved her. He knew this would be a winning point into my heart because I had never been able to have children due to health problems & having a hysterctomey. On good Friday, he was suppose to go on agolf outing. He did not go, INstead he moved out of my house leaving it a mess . It looked like someone had robbed me . I ran out and called some freinds because I thought the robber was still in the house. We then found a note from him. Telling me again that he needed to live alone. He took things that were not his, then I foumnd out he had not been depositing money in the bank, & had taken money out of an account that I use for bills causin g me to pay a bounced check fees of like $5oo.oo. He stil will not pay me back. I had anervous breakdown over all this. He was suppose to take care of some automatic payments to a defaulted student loan & car insurance that was coming out of my check. I was in the hospital, he did not take care of these things leaving me more overdraft fees. Plus, He has not payed me for those either. He really did me in finacially, emotionally & spirtitually. On too of this, I found that he owed money to national city bankfor overdrafts , so they closed his account, & he is unable to get a checking account anywhere. He told me he was layed off from the job he had when we first met. It turned out he was fired % they took him to court to take back the unemployment he had unjustly received. It turned out that he was fired for inappropriate use of the computer. Making travel plans & veiwing pornography. I found out he was seeing someone before he left me. He just moved in with her. I seen him at astore, & asked him about the money, He gave some flimsey answer. He said he is in love with this woman & they will get married at some point. He told me the same thing. Maybe, by coincidence, this woman works for the bank that he owes money to. This is areal slap in the face. The woamn lives in the same town as I do. I am subjected to seeing them . It really hurts. I really truly loved him. I feel like my heart has been torn out. I am gointg to allanon. I am also seeing atherapist. When I had the nervous breakdown. I just did want to live. I feel betrayd & decieved. I feel like such a fool. I do not know if I will ever completely recover from this. I do not understand why I was treated this way. Other than confronting him , I gave my whole heart & soul to him & never thought things would turn out this way. He had my family and freinds fooled too. It it were not for my family, I woud probably not be here. I would have just died. Mow, tody I feel somewhat that way again. I wrote he and his girlfreind a letter about the money & what he had done to me. His mother gave me his address & phone number. I had called several times & was going to talk to him when he got home from work at night. He was working afternoon shift. . When he anxweredthe phone, He sounded so mean that I just hung up. The police called me today, and said thay requested I don't call anymore & he does not want to talk to me. Fror some reason, this hit me hard. I was suppose to be the love of his life, How he ripped me off & I am the enemy & all apppearances look like he is happy with this new woman. What is wrong with me. Why csn't I just let go. I am in so much pain. I sometimes stil just want the lord to take me home. I have never experienced this much pain in my life. I feel like an outcast. I amso obseesed with wanting just some tid bit of remorse from him. I do not want him back . I just wish he would move to another country after he pays me . Has anyone out ther experienced a guy like this that just threw them away like a piece of trash & went on to someone else. Why is it that he did all the rotten things & is appearring to live so happily & I am paying the price. I almost even imagine him & her laughing at me. I do not think I can stand to find the news that he has changed in this new relationship & is treating her good after the way I was treated. Sombody please help me. [/code][/quote]
