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Memories and voice

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cindy:
Thanks for the concern and reply, all.  The house was built in 1910, the doorknobs were original, and it is a large house.  The police and campus security both assure me the knobs were valuable and a target of thieves, and so it is not logical to assume my ex did it.  It sure was spooky, though.  

Plus, at the same time my car ignition switch went out, and this one was only two weeks old.  I'd just had it replaced.  Last night the man who prompted the visit to the house by telling me the kitchen had been gutted returned my call.  The kitchen was fine, but this is when I discovered the doorknobs.  He told me he had called my ex thru a number a neighbor had, and a woman answered, so my ex's girlfriend told him the kitchen had been gutted.  Then, this morning, I went out to a transplanting area that is by the car, and all bottles and lids were unscrewed but placed on top, like teens will do to salt shakers?

This is "normal" behavior for my N ex, who has continued to intrude into my life for four years.  As the girlfriend's car is gone but he is home, I'm thinking I may stay at a friend's tonight.  And I'm off to finally buy some surveillance equipment.  I can't afford it, but the chaos takes its toll and I can't afford not to.

Can you imagine telling police a 56 year old man may have stolen door knobs?  Or you're spooked because lids were loosened?  Or you think your ex may have sabotaged a thirty year old beetle because it needs a new part?

I have roots here, have been assured by all involved there's no reason to be afraid of my ex, and yet still I walk on eggshells.  That's the objective, isn't it?  I think about him every day.  Thanks for letting me vent.

mary:
Here we  are listening to you with care and concern.  Please vent and share your concerns anytime.  It has helped me to have somewhere to go and talk and complain.  I am not at a point where I want to talk to my normal friends about N and how it effects my family.  This site has been such a blessing for me to write and think and learn about myself.  It has helped me to stop hating myself so badly.   So we are here for you and nothing you say is silly or unimportant!

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