Unhappiness as a comfort zone

[Hopalong]

This is in response to Amber's post on my Awful Day at Work thread (kept trying to reply there but it wouldn't post, and then I thought it might be a general topic anyway).
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getting myself outside of my old agony-comfort zone. I think that's why the anxiety...

That is wise, sharp, truth-telling.

I really understand this, Amber. Thank you for it. It also reminds me of what GS and I have talked about re. shame stirring when one moves out of the paralysed place.

It's all the same.

It makes me wonder, generally, if in some way, one can "falll in love" with our pain. Our unique agony.

It's so intimate. It knows us best. The pain becomes a lover, a new best friend, a part in a play written only for us, the role of a lifetime. Without agony, without paralysis...life is...just life. We'd have to be satisfied with things like sunup, sundown, work and family and coping with aging and talking to the city council about a community garden. That's just not operatic at all.

love,
Hops

[Leah]

Amazing Hops,

I resonate, as I have sat and wondered, about this subject, so often, lately.

Seems to me, that there is a danger in making -- please excuse the phrase -- an idol out of the pain.

Interesting topic subject.

Leah x

[reallyME]

So, in a sense, feeling pain, makes some people feel ALIVE?

[alone48]

And there is alot to be said for a number of us don't feel we deserve happiness. We feel quite comfortable with pain and misery.

My T told me that I ran from people that would want me as I saw them as having a problem (there must be something wrong with them if they would want to be with me) and that's part of why I keep ending up in bad relationships.

[Leah]

Dear Alone & Amber,

I can resonate and identify with all you have shared, likewise, very much so.

For the most of my life, in the past, I had felt that that was my 'lot' in life, that the full 'happiness' card was not mine.

And, in the past, if I ever did something for myself, rarely, I would feel uncomfortable.

Love, Leah

[teartracks]

Hi Hops,

This is such a good subject.   I certainly feel too comfortable for it to feel comfortable with my general unhappiness and fish out of water malaise.  Yesterday I went to see my GP to review my prescriptions mostly,  He is a real prince.  So he asked how I was doing.  I said, "Well, let's just say I'm exhausted.  That may tell you nothing or it may tell you everything."  Jokingly, he said, You fixed that when you ran away from home didn't you?  He was referring to the month I took off over the holidays.  I said, "That was a good start, it just wasn't long enough".  Then seriously he said, You're suffering from classic burn out.  I already knew what the cure was - rest, diet, and exercise.  He confirmed that and said that to exercise when I feel the least like doing it was what was called for.  I know he's right, but I keep thinking, "Oh, if I can just rest a little longer"! 

Anyway, today I'm cleaning the house, moving furniture kind of cleaning, for exercise for I can't stand gyms and regimented activities.   Somehow or other I don't think I'll feel significantly happier when I finish...

Love to you and Ma,

tt

[Leah]

Just found the following "12 steps to unhappiness"...
could be a guide to going in the OTHER direction!!

http://www.emotionalprocessing.org.uk/EP%20&%20Psychological%20Therapy/twelve%20steps.htm

Just read the 12 Steps to Unhappiness!!!!

[Hopalong]

Hi, TT...

I've been burned out too. Trying to stave it off now.

Have you tried going for a swim?

I haven't in ages, but I've found that being in the water, even lazily paddling on a kickboard, has an effect on me that no other exercise does. I think it's the water.

(Nice way to try being good to yourself, if you're up to it.) I know the fatigue dear.

Sending mental ginseng...

with love,
Hops