After thirty one years of neglect, physical and emotional abuse I have filed for divorce and moved out of my house. N has emptied all the joint accounts and has invaded my private emails and phone bills. This divorce will be messy and long. I have no fear any more. I am going to be all right.
It is funny the stages I've gone through. Pity and empathy made me stay for all those years as well as fear. I have PTSD from living with him. Now I could care less what happens to him. He is not really human more like a ghost with an eternal howling wound. He has abused our children, hurt our pets, lied about me to his birth family and become pathologically jealous after I tried last year to throw him out.
I am sleeping better, eating better and have lost weight. I've gotten off some of my anti depresssants. Sometimes I have high anxiety about what he might do next but that is getting less and less. His mom and dad are also narcissists so my life has been strange.
