I am

[steve]

chaos---confusion
I struggle

unknown---fear
I defend

mind---courage
I think

death---limitation
I accept

isolation---loneliness
I join

nothing---meaningless
I create

conscience---oppression
I assert

injustice---violation
I persevere

life---unique
I am

[steve]

Just trying to be creative. I have found that creativity brings the ME out and is simply the manifstation of my voice.

This is not only therapeutic but it is basically all there is. Our uniqueness---our selves---that very private thing that only we know, we experience, we feel---this is it. And the more you choose to suppress it, the smaller you feel. But the more you express it the bigger you feel. Until you eventually fill your entire potential and finally express that unique, beautiful, wonderful, and infinite YOU.

Steve

[steve]

For as long as I remember I have always sensed a suppressed voice inside me waiting to get out. Constantly struggling with my conscience, not realizing that it was only fear that kept me quiet. But fear crumbles next to my courage and the strength of that courage comes from finally feeling myself. And this is not just some trite statement. I mean actually being in perfect unison with my existence. I know myself, sense myself, feel myself. I am ever present and bigger than anything around me. For in the end, this is all I have to work with. Everything else is just outside me. That me, that is growing larger every day. That me, who finally can see that they are all lies and have no truth. The truth only I can create and I will express it as I see fit. But as I do this, I will never lose sight, feeling, or knowledge of MYSELF. So, reach down deep and just do it. Just finally exist.

Steve

[Ami]

Dear Steve,
  I think that you are talking about leaving your LV(little voice)behind and finding your true voice!!!!!         Love   Ami

[steve]

I think maybe this expresses it more. I went through life as if my existence was translucent, in a sense like everything moved through me, I was life a ghost in this world, just floating in a spiritual sense through life. But now I feel myself, it is hard, heavy, powerful. You kinda start to feel yourself weighed down by gravity more than you have before. You start to feel your essence. You realize that it is "part of the furniture", so to speak, as opposed to being just the background.

Anyways, basically, I have decided to pursue a creative career that is wildly different than all my previous careers. i am finally doing what I want. Wish me luck.

Steve

[Ami]

Can you describe your career more, Steve? Also, being more "weighty" might be being "in your body" as I call it. I never used to be in my body". I was floating,somewhere above it. Now, I  s/times feel grounded, as if I am "in " my body. I think we are talking about the same thing, Steve.         Love   to you , Ami

[steve]

Yup, sounds like it.

I am going to be an artist.

Steve

[teartracks]

Hi steve,

I noted tonight that you come to the board with declarations of who you are and what you intend to do.  I like that. 

tt

[jordanspeeps]

Hiya Steve,

This piece resonates.  You begin with chaotic confusion and by accepting your limitations and meeting your challenges as they come, you are cultivating a very rich and unique life.  very beautiful steve.  also, i love the way the poem looks on the page: the right side is serpentine with ebb and flow while the left side is uniform and constrained.  Are you indeed this way, steve?  is this how you survive in this life?  you clearly have been given some innate gifts, tools for survival, if you will, that serve you well throughout your journey.  this poem is a celebration, steve, thank you.

tiffany