I can't believe he/she said that

[debkor]

I can’t believe he/she said that

I saw this done on another web and thought we could do one here:

Ya know if your not nice to a person and do not give them the attention they want then they can become friends, good friends, NOT SEX or anything just friends, someone to talk to NOT SEX and then it could turn into more NOT ME THOUGH, I’m just saying 

If a guy is not married but in a relationship and he meets a girl who is divorced/separated then technically he is not cheating because he’s not married in the eyes of the law. 

I only told my friend that I was having the best sex with another girl so he would think I was cool. I couldn’t say you because he already knows you and then he wouldn’t have been impressed.  It was all a lie it never happened.  I just wanted to feel special and if he was any kind of man he would of kept his mouth shut.  Men don’t tell.  He showed what kind of friend he was.  And I didn’t do it.  I was kidding I just said I did.

In the same breath he then changed it and said he told him knowing it would come back to me so I would be jealous. How dumb they are and they fell for it.  That he burnt them.

All women cheat, he just knows this.  He’s kind of gifted with these kinds of things.

Then turn it all around and say, I told you those weren’t true and you have some real problems why are you harping on them.  You need some real help.  Stop dwelling on the past, which may have been 2 hours before.

If I was to ever get in a relationship again NOT that I would.  I would meet a girl NOT that I would who had plenty of money so she could buy my kids anything they wanted like toys and stuff.  I would never, OHH NOO  ever get involved again.  I’d go fishing, ya know that’s what I really like to do.   

What man do you know that if someone were handing them money wouldn’t take it

You know your pretty because I would not be with a dog.

Talk about crazy making. 

This is laughable now.  They really are a bunch of Asses.

Anyone care to add?

Deb

[debkor]

Oh yeah, I forgot one.

I know you say you don't love me anymore but I know you do and who cares because I still love you and even though you are saying that I know it's not true because I love you and it does not matter what you say. Because I know. 

Then told me if he kept talking and confusing that I would eventually say oh F**k it and stop talking because I would give up.   

And you wonder why I felt  nuts?

Deb

[gratitude28]

Yes, Deb, talking out of both sides of the mouth... definitely crazy making. And one statement on its own could be just a mistake, but add them all up and they are cruel.

My mother's:

I don't know where you hide all the weight. You look OK.

You can't really tell your age. You could be that old.

Unfortunately, your body is from your dad's side of the family. Your sister and I have different bodies.

Why would you want to study in a country like that? Don't you miss the amenities of our life (said to me 5 minutes after returning from Russia where I was for six months. Plus they were late coming to the airport).

We only are doing this for your sister and not you because... (fill in the blank - repeat over and over).

Kids are always awful at that age. They turn human again at (random number).

So many, many more... All ridiculous statements. As a kid, though, it is hard to understand what is real and what is imagined or created by the parent. I remember a huge lightbulb went on one day and I realized that my parents were far from always being right. In fact, I felt they were mostly wrong. I would bet people with healthy parents don't have this illumination.

Deb, I am sorry you had/have to go through this with your SO. It must be hard to reconcile the person you thought you loved with the person he is.

Love, Beth

[Ami]

I will try to think of  some ,Deb, and get back.                                    Hugs, Ami

[dandylife]

"MY feelings are the only ones that are important!"



Someone else way back when did a similar thread and I remember this same phrase popping into my head at the time. I will never forget it!


Or, when we were in the midst of a discussion and he had a newspaper open in front of him and for dramatization he tore a tiny little piece of the newspaper and said, "This is your problem. The rest of the paper is mine."

Talk about MINIMIZING me. Sheesh. I'll never forget that, either.

I'm sure there's hundreds, but those are the ones foremost in the mind.....

Dandylife

[debkor]

Hi Grats,

It was crazymaking then.  I wanted to post somethings said for the newbies so they know that we all went through the double talk.  It's nice to know that you were not the only one dealing with such nonsense.  And that is all it is.

I was not a child having this done to me so I can not imagine what it is like being so little and told such mean double meaning things.  That are not true. 

I was an adult/young adult and it threw me off balance when I heard these things.  I had a choice.  I could leave.  When your little you don't get that choice.

But it's double talk and it's lies and Yes I can't believe he/she  said that.

Sometimes for me it was good to put it on paper and see exactly what I was hearing and it made no sense.  My eyes connected to my brain and my brain to my heart and reading over and over I knew they were (like you say) the person I thought I  loved to the person he was. It was not as hurtfull to me as it was terrifying. 

I kept trying to rewrite the script to make him normal or at least try to make some sense out of it.  You can't make sense out of nonsense.

It was also a good learning tool.  I don't think I can be double talked anymore.  I hope I can't. 

This is many years ago that it was said and now I can look at the same words and laugh because of the stupidity in them.


You are not the person they try to make you think you are as much as they are not the person we thought they were/are.
Then again some are exactly what we thought they were.

This board is all about those words being written and validation of what we think/thought and it feels good not to be alone and walk with others who have worn our shoes. 

Love
Deb