Dear Kim,
Thank you for this thread. I remember the moment when I became emotionally ill and could not get back. I chose to believe that my N M was "good" and I was 'bad".
SHE became my role model.
I tried to become like she. What a horrible road I have been on.
I am trying to get off ,now, by facing the truth about myself, her, and life.
One thing kept me sane, as long as I did stay sane. It was,"*I* am NOT like she."That one sentence,I would repeat and repeat. When ,I stopped seeing it ,I was lost.
Now, it is a matter of facing all the shame she put on me, once she took me prisoner . It is so hard. It got inside me, deeply. I wish I could wave a magic wand and have ALL her influence gone and have my "own" mind. It doesn't work that way. I feel like I am digging to China ,with a spoon, sometimes.
Love Ami