Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Why is it?
Feline:
Maybe both
I am not around any Christians now.
My partner is gnostic.He has glee dismanting christians.I have no problem hearing of his intellectual forays at getting a cristian out of the faith stupor,and his waking them up.
Me myself I am not of any particular belief type.I have explored many kinds of beliefs including buddhism,Satanism,AoG,Medicine,witchcraft,Higgh magick,Qabala.I do active meditation in art beadwork leatherwork ect. I got a sorta a feline masked magical medicine kinda spirituality,it's my own path that uses wisdom from many sources combined in a way that works.It is revised all the time when new wisdom challenges me or experinces change my understanding.My mind is flexible because I dunno what I am or why I'm here or what is in the unknown until I see it myself?.
I don't know if there is a god or gods or if it's just our collective unconsious and archetypes working to restore our lost one ness...
And frankly I am beyond trying to figure it all out.Because it's futile.Every religion is a hopeful guess and alotta shit and a few grains of wisdom, and some pointless behavior mod carrots and sticks...There is no "reason" for the things that happen to living things here why life has to kill and eat living things to live.Evolution is cruel,life is violent and flawed.It's just mindless chaos sometimes it's personal,sometimes it's not.The only thing I can do is not be as sick as the world is and choose to keep my integrity over my own pleasure,power or survival,have some compassion for others and myself,don't run away from life and lie, and take my pain out on others blindly.
If I die I die ,so? we all are born to reproduce and die.It makes no sense...and if that's all there is to an "afterlife" Doh,I never had a choice anyways..But if there's an afterlife and I can prevent it, all I know is I wanna be as far AWAY from here and any realm like this one as I can get.
And I also realize I might not have any control over my afterlife destiny too. I can go to the"clear light" and be born in a body right back here too.L I had no control being born in this wrong body to my messed up parents living at this time and this place. I dunno why I exist or why I am aware of my existance.I dunno what makes a body "alive" and what happens in "death"or why aging and sickness occurs it sucks tho.I see no evidence my spirit" choose to manifest in this cruelty laced limited nasty short and brutish, life I find myself stuck in on this fucked up planet full of traumas that does not have to be as bad like this..If people just tried to heal each other and themselves more.
I am an exisentialist and if there is a god/dess that governs this world it's an archon,so I am malthiest about god or convinced this god(s) is/are a limited falliable creature(s) like us in many ways that can't or wont help it's creation heal for some reason I cannot excuse or because the beings are prevented from helping,ignorant, limited like us, stupid,mindless,predatory or mean..but my way through this exitenstial understanding of life is in choosing, because I can ,by my own will to behave differently than the world full of chaos ,bullies,lies and cruelty addiction and domination I encounter everyday does. I am responsible for maintaining my own integrity,my actions and my words.And If I want a better life I gotta do something to make life better,
Now one thing is I am damn unhappy sometimes. and I think most of the world is miserable too. Content people don't abuse people or compulsively consume and play defensive or evasive mindgames. Mentally healthy people don't have such defended egos.
I don't think people can even imagine sanity outside of a cultural conformity framework.
I don't think I have ever met a sane person.
And all of this just makes me very very sad and concerned.
Because for all it's flaws there are things that are beautiful here,and it takes my breath away,everyday there is beauty..I cry in awe at sunsets and thunderstorms,I cry in joy when my cats move my heart with thier adorableness.I love the woods and the smell of the Earth,My partner is so sweet sometimes and funny,my mom is funny and sweet too sometimes. I love when I make a piece of art and I dazzle myself with it. I love creative things art cartoons,costumes glitter,poetry..
This is from a old book I had since I was a kid called Silver Pennies..
My sisters and I would read from it together.
MY Soul goes clad in gorgeous things,
Scarlet and gold and blue,
And at her shoulder sudden wings
Like long flames flicker through.
And she is swallow-fleet, and free
From mortal bonds and bars.
She laughs, because Eternity
Blossoms for her with stars!
O folk who scorn my stiff gray gown,
My dull and foolish face,
Can ye not see my Soul flash down,
A singing flame through space?
And folk, whose earth-stained looks I hate,
Why may I not divine
Your Souls, that must be passionate,
Shining, and swift as mine?
Fannie Steams Davis
Anonymous:
feline,
It seems unlikely that you've met no sane people. Possibly you didn't want to deal with sane people and vice versa.
I don't think it matters what religion you and your partner are. You can easily make yourself miserable by always thinking about the abuse in the world. That would effectively end any happiness. But that's a choice. Right?
bunny
Feline:
Should I just forgetaboutitall? put my fingers in my ears and choose to pretend to be happy? As if I force it it will just magically be made true?
I was hurt when other people saw what happened to me and decided to forgetaboutit too.
Sometimes it gets to me sometimes not.
I post here when it gets to me.
I refuse to deny it is happening and numb it out.
Numbing out the world is one way I became sick.
And tell me what is a sane person like?
I am very curious.
Anonymous:
--- Quote from: Feline ---Should I just forgetaboutitall?
--- End quote ---
No. You shouldn't forget about it. You may choose at some point to put it in perspective so that you can experience a relatively happy life. Remember the old serenity prayer?
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."
--- Quote from: Feline ---And tell me what is a sane person like?
I am very curious.
--- End quote ---
A sane person is one who thinks the serenity prayer is the way to go.
bunny
Anonymous:
Oh, one more thing.
For "God" in that prayer, substitute anything you want.
bunny
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