Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Virtual Emotional Support
Anonymous:
Sorry bobbie for what happened with you yesterday with your boys :( . Sorry for everything you've just shared :( . I wish you well. Let it reip bobbie. I'm sure you mean well and I'll keep that in mind when I read. :D
allusedup:
i guess once i get started, only a fist in the mouth will stop me....i just have some observations and opinions i have to get off my chest. i've gone thru this thread, and seen some things that cause me fear and anger, and some things that reassure me (and yes, I do have a life - I just don't know how to live it yet). I feel the need to quote them, but I won't use the "boxes" - my intent is not to criticize the writers of the particular quotes, but to express my reactions to certain words and phrases. I realize that I haven't quoted complete posts, which ends up taking them out of context, but I again emphasize, this is MY take on things:
Phrases and wording that disturbed me:
- quit talkin' to yerself & take yer meds...
- Quite contradictory to this sweet & innocent pennin' over here
One word: DUPLICITY
- How BIG does the fire breathing dragon have to get for others to see? How could they not?
- Shame child- cryin' shame-- How long ya been round these here parts- girlie?
When it comes to P spew, I must be readin' the book and you must be seein' the movie or somethin', 'cause I can't get my head around the P your explanin'
I hear the masses callin' "here kitty kitty..." and when P burps, were gonna be mourning another...
- Portia 'aint no glam car--- she's a train---wreck
- Very much so but I am waking up to the fact that it's not. I feel like I'm in a fun house at the crazy mirror?
That she was ham-strung to go into battle. No, I don't believe that. For obvious reasons. She was here. Think I'll go and do some more reading before she does anymore editing of her posts which I noticed she's doing. The race is on.
- Only than can he create the appearance and illusion of security that soothes the savage egotist,that domination illusion/ manipulation,blame the person for thier own shortcomings and pain game that he uses to tell himself he is in control of the painful thoughts and feelings inside himself.
- Only than can he create the appearance and illusion of security that soothes the savage egotist,that domination illusion/ manipulation,blame the person for thier own shortcomings and pain game that he uses to tell himself he is in control of the painful thoughts and feelings inside himself.
- ...we're all not only voiceless, but we're stupid too and it seems we're to be dependent on you to interpret our reality for us.
Oh, are you the boogey man ********? . Have signed a coven oath. What is it that's so dreadfully secret? Are you reading tea leaves and ashamed of the weak source?
Are you trying to scare everyone into believing you're smarter than everyone else and have some insight that we all lack? So we become dependent on you for the truth we believe and for you to interpret reality for us.
Phrases and wording that feel like empathy to me:
- If you are going to make huge accusations like that, I think the least you could do for the participants on the board is to make your facts that you based your decision on as clear as possible so that none of us are left in the dark. This also allows us each the opportunity to re-evaluate the situation and make our OWN decisions. Otherwise, it just seems like a vicious attack on someone that we all trust and enjoy. I have no reasons to think differently of Portia OR CG. Right now I feel these are feeble attempts to put doubt in our minds regarding these 2 board members in particular and add mass drama and confusion to the board. If you really want to make an argument - go for it. Toss in some facts and solid examples so that we can see the real issues you are talking about instead of the fluff.
- One more question for you two - what are your motives? Are you out for blood here or truly trying to heal?
- My post is to invite others who already feel bewildered, in the manner HUGC and I are, to question! question! question!
- I can't understand why you think you have the "right" answer on this and I still haven't seen you present any hard, undisputable evidence.
- I can respect your response, although I am still confused about the details of the accusations.
- i'm a member here but am posting anonymos because in spite of what everyone says, there really isn't free speech here for sure. you get marked if you say what you think.
- I know the stability\safety of the board feels important to ya.
- There is not many havens in this world that exist that narcissists do not infiltrate.
- You have to be willing to LISTEN to someone before you tell them advice,and if they don't want it,get over yourself....A person wants someone else uses advice or insult to tell someone else to not use thier voice to express thier own pain they are a narcissist ,emotionally immature,self absorbed know it all,or emotionally overwhemed..
- It is the narciusist who tries everything mindgame he can to stifle the voices of others he does not like to hear to make them silent or be a voice that sings his tune only..
- A bully cannot stand anyone else expressing weakness and pain around him because he is weak,in pain and so afraid of himself he won't dare aknowlege it is in his own heart too. So he lies to himself ,and bullies to keep up the appearance of self control and power
- PUKE! It was talk and obsessive behaviour like yours from people like you who caused me to need to come here in the first place
I don't know anyone with that much time on their hands to post message after message, day after day, to go through all of those old messages and paste and quote.What a sick thing to do. That girl must have a huge inferiority complex, and no life
I know, taken out of context, it might be difficult to understand why I put certain statements in one "category" or the other. That's one reason I didn't attribute each statement to its author, altho I know the authors recognize their own statements, and it's not difficult to figure out who wrote what.
What I was after was the language, the "tone", the sarcastic cuts...or the calm requests for clarification, the civil requests for posters to take responsibility for their statements (not just criticize without backing up the criticism), the respectful comments and observations, the the remarks that validate, rather than disrespect, others.
No one has to agree w/me, many probably won't, and many more may not have the slightest idea what I'm talking about. My "categories" are not meant to be judgmens, either - they are my OWN categories, and just about the way certain wording and statements make me feel.
probably time for me to take off now, i don't want to fan the flames, and i know ALL boards blow up from time to time. I guess I was just disappointed that at one time I thought this was a certain kind of place, and now I don't - THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT TRUE - it's just the way i feel.
bobbie
allusedup:
--- Quote from: Anonymous ---Sorry bobbie for what happened with you yesterday with your boys :( . Sorry for everything you've just shared :( . I wish you well. Let it reip bobbie. I'm sure you mean well and I'll keep that in mind when I read. :D
--- End quote ---
Thanks, but there's no reason for you to be sorry, you weren't the cause of what I did, nor did you ever inflict any harm on me, but thanks for your thoughts.
I do need to apologize, because what I said, and the way i said it, was hurtful and insulting - no matter if i meant well or not. you (or anyone else) can't know what's in my head or what motivates me. all you can know is what i express, and i expressed myself in a negative way.
bobbie
Anonymous:
I know I wasn't responsible, just lingo differences. I feel sorrow that you, another human being, fellow traveller in life, is experiencing such pain and grief and distress as you've described. I felt sorrow for you. And that as a result, your children experienced that too.
And hey, I apreciated your post. You made some good points. I found my comments are in both lists. That's okay. I'll whip myself later. "It's an emotive topic" is an understatment.
All the best to you, and hopefully things will calm down around here soon, and everybody can on with the job of healing. A lot of people are I've noticed. These couple of turbulent theads really are in the minority here.
Take care bobbie
Guest (just to be annoying) :D
allusedup:
--- Quote from: Anonymous --- That's okay. I'll whip myself later. ":D
--- End quote ---
Please don't! The world whips us enough without us making a do it yourself project! :( :roll: :wink:
Obviously I misunderstood a couple of your points: sorry/sorrow being one of them.
I'm also upset that my kids have to suffer for this. I know what I go through, and I can't even imagine what pain it's causing them.
If you found your posts in both categories, again, that may be a misunderstanding on my part. that's a problem with reading vs. talking face to face. as we all know, the same words can be perceived differently in writing when the reader can't see if the person's affect matches their words, but when talking face to face, it's easier to put the two together (well, i've never been very good at it, but i was conditioned well, i learned to practice many many forms of denial, and mom took the brunt of things for sis and I - honesty in any form was not popular in our house).
so if i took your meanings incorrectly, or anyone else's for that matter, i apologize. i did not mean to judge, i'm just not that omnipotent. i know i've written offensive things also, we're none of us perfect.
if i misunderstood any of the statements i listed, I apologize to those i offended. i'm very raw at this point, and that's not an excuse to hurt people, maybe just an explanation of why i'm not seeing things clearly.
bobbie
PS: and yes, calming down and getting on with the business of healing does sound like a wonderful idea, so i'm going to quit with the confrontational posts, altho i'd be happy to respond (in a calmer way) if anyone takes exeption to my previous posts or disagrees with me.
Thanks for listening/reading.
bobbie :)
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