Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Virtual Emotional Support
Anonymous:
Can I add, I love your tag. 1st Cor 13. My favourite as well. Might help to for both of us to remeber thtat one here hey? :D And leave this wibbly wobly to fight themselves to exhaustion. Not everyone here is in this thread. And it is a supportiv environment if you stick to your own issues, I've found anyway. :D Good luck and hope you're okay.
Anonymous:
--- Quote from: Anonymous ---Let's continue to make this a great discussion place and continue to stand up for each other's right to have a voice and continue to believe each other's feelings as real. :)
--- End quote ---
allusedup:
--- Quote from: Anonymous ---
I can see you're affected by this. I imagine a lot here are. I am too! :( But to attack all guests as 'chicken shit' . Thanks :( . A bit like kicking the dog don't you think?
--- End quote ---
Yes, I really am affected by this. Reading people attacking and being attacked makes me sick, because I've spent my whole life being attacked, and thinking it was NORMAL, and because of extreme circumstances, like my mom dying last year, having to take over her role with Ndad and see how bad he REALLY is, having to deal with his bad heart, his diabetes, his Alzheimers, the fact that he physically attacked my sis and I the last time we did something to help him (take him to the cemetery to put flowers on mom's grave), have him verballly abuse my 3 boys until I finally put a stop to it by denying him any contact with them, not even being able to mourn my mother's death because sis and I are now responsible for Nhim, having medical problems of my own (chronic physical plus depression/anxiety) - YES, I am affected by reading this kind of sh*t in a place that's supposed to support just the opposite kind of behavior.
You're probably right - labelling every "guest" as chickenshit is like saying "all women are weak" or "all teenagers are punks". Your point is well taken - however, when we have you, "Guest", and correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you're a "member", and then all the other "guests" or "anonymouses", first of all it becomes very confusing, and secondly, I wonder why anyone who's a regular poster here and is obviously contributing and involved in this board wouldn't just sign up, even if they decide to take the username "Guest"? none of my business, just a thought.
Yes, because of the way I was brought up, and have lived my life for 49 years, my conditioning makes it repulsive to me (and almost physically sick) to see people acting in a manner that degrades other people; I also realize that my feelings are not the fault of anyone on this board - I also don't think my feelings are abnormal. I'd like to think most people would find vindictiveness and constant back-and-forth attacking and name-calling repulsive, but I may be wrong.
I want to make it clear that when I was saying unidentified and unidentifiable people are chickenshit, I was not referring specifically to you. Since reading your post, I've thought of many reasons why someone would want to remain nameless. I can be the most chickenshit person in the world (I probably am) but i gave myself a username that describes how i feel right now, and i sign my first name on my posts. My option, doesn't necessarily work for anyone else. I NEED to name myself, in whatever fashion, because along with being voiceless for so many years, I've been "nameless", "invisible", "ineffective", "impotent", "unimportant", "helpless", and "hopeless", etc. To repeat, those conditions were not created by anyone posting on this board, but it creates a very strong feeling in me.
I know I'm coming on strong, and it makes me so uncomfortable to express myself this way, but I'm so upset by what I view as unnecessary viciousness I've jumped out of my own comfort zone.
I'm sorry if I offended you, Guest. I should have worded my opinion differently - the viciousness upsets me way more than people not identifying themselves, or sharing some kind of descriptive username. I apologize to you.
However, now that I'm out of my comfort zone, my next post will probably offend or insult many people, and for that I'm sorry, but I feel I must do it to express myself.
I'm also aware that because of my own life situation, which is disgustingly repulsive to me, I'm probably over-reacting to the situation here. Believe it or not, I am working on my "misplaced aggression", but I wanted you all to know I am aware of this fact.
bobbie
phoenix:
bye
allusedup:
Sorry, this isn't the "next post" I was referring to - Phoenix beat me to the "submit" button - my computer kicked me off before I could post. the "next post" follows this one.
--- Quote from: Anonymous ---Can I add, I love your tag. 1st Cor 13. My favourite as well. Might help to for both of us to remeber thtat one here hey? :D
--- End quote ---
Fortunately, only my dad is N - that tag is what mom taught us, and tho she's gone now, you're right - I really do need to remember it and practice it. Hey, I'm luckier than some - only 50% of my parentage was a waste of skin, altho mom was partially responsible for the "dance" that created our sickening family dynamics.
I'm sorry to have offended you personally. I have no problem with you specifically, but I've never understood why some people contribute and are involved in boards like this, but don't join and identify themselves, even if their username is "Guest". It just seems like "hiding" to me - altho after reading your post, many reasons to remain anonymous and maybe not totally commit come to mind, many of them having to do with possible self-preservation. It's also confusing to me to have "Guest", other "guests", "anonymouses", etc., but that's my problem, not yours. I'm truly sorry for using you as "the dog" and kicking you - that wasn't my intent.
--- Quote from: Anonymous ---
And it is a supportiv environment if you stick to your own issues, I've found anyway. :D
--- End quote ---
You may be right, but I have many fears, and one of them is: if i say too much about myself and my situation, the "game players" might join in. I have no resources at this point to deal with that on a personal level, about my own stuff.
--- Quote from: Anonymous ---Good luck and hope you're okay.
--- End quote ---
My sincere thanks for the good wishes. I would love to say I'm okay, but like many others here, I'm far from it. Spent most of yesterday having such an extreme physical and mental reaction to my situation that I could hardly talk, and I was walking around as if I'd consumed a 5th of Jack Daniels - can't remember how many times I fell, but I've got bruises all over, took things out on my boys that they're not responsible for (which gave me a sh*tload of extra guilt, but I deserve that part), I couldn't even walk a straight line...and really, I wasn't drinking or drugging, I was just falling apart.
I'm also aware that I may be over-reacting to posts on this board the same way I over-reacted to my boys yesterday - because I don't take care of business in the correct ways with the correct people. Believe it or not, that's something I'm working on with my therapist. I just wanted to cop to that defect before my next post, as I'm afraid it may offend/insult people, which isn't my intent, but may be the result of what I have to say. I'll also say I'm way out of my comfort zone here, and maybe that's a good thing, but by expressing myself in a confrontational way, I almost feel like I'm possessed.
Sincere apologies, Guest - I shouldn't have used you like "the dog" to be kicked.
bobbie
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