Dear Lise,
"I still have so far to go in order to be able to call myself a true Christian."
That's how I feel about being a mature disciple of Christ... but not about being a Christian (as in a saved, born-again believer). In my experience, it's more that we may have so much of which to let go.... so that there is more of Jesus living through us and less of ourselves. That's a paradigm shift which makes all the difference, to me.
And I need to work on being more gentle, too, Lise... gentle and meek. Of course, meek does not mean weak... and I believe that it's possible to continue "telling it like it is" without having a harsh, abrasive tone. What's required in order to accomplish that? Humility and a grateful heart for all of that with which Christ has filled us (I think). Again, to me, that means keeping the eyes of my heart on Him, and not on myself or anyone else! Thinking aloud here, that's all... about some of the opportunities which have presented themselves this week... to cop an attitude or to tell someone off. Plenty of opportunities to exercise the strength of meekness, which is a far cry from voicelessness! I did not always succeed in this, but the race isn't over, is it?
And besides, what if it all came so easily to us? Wouldn't we begin to think that we are all that? If we could just sail through our days being sweet and kind and gentle and loving, with never a ruffled feather... well, then, what need would we sense to draw nearer to God? Wow, in that light, I'm thankful for all of the humbling chances to say, "Lord, I really blew it! I need You!"
Patience - I think that's what is called for within me... because the abrasive tone comes out of me when I forget how very patient God's been with me through my own growing pains. So in that regard, it's necessary for me to always remember that I can do nothing apart from Him. It's not that I will have a difficult time finishing the race on my own... it's that it's impossible. Nothing means nothing. Soon as that sinks in and takes root, I've got my hands full dealing with my own crud! Sure doesn't leave much time or space for analyzing other folks' rubbish or taking issue with them.
Re:
This morning I was reflecting on how people shun. It occurred to me that when someone is around someone who is of high moral character we have to either reduce them in our minds as something far less, or we have to simply just cut them off from our reality in order to save ourselves from the painful awareness of our moral turpitude and the pain of our envy.
Yes. Or - as in the case of NPD - she's compelled to attack/label/denigrate/destroy the one who possesses integrity and sound character, because such completeness threatens to expose her hollowness. Always, always, consider the source. You'll see the flurry of frenetic bluster following an encounter with such a one, but you'll be able to walk steadily through that storm... because you're not all about yourself. You stand on higher ground. That's what I have learned.
I love those C.S. Lewis quotes... especially from Surprised by Joy. What a concept
Just typing all this, it's caught me off-guard once again... how thoroughly full life can be once self gets emptied. Too bad it keeps trying to fill back up again... lol... but I'm off to battle with the lawnmower now.
Love you bunches, dear Lise. Just typing back to you lifts my spirit, because I know there's a connection occurring, and not just a spewing of words back and forth.
Thank you.
Carolyn
