HOps and SS: I totally relate to this. I would go to my sister in laws house and it would be messy. I would run through the kitchen and tidy up. I would make a swing through the living room and straighten up. She would be so appreciative. But I would NEVER let them come to my house. It was messy. I was embarrassed. Why wouldn't I let them come and help me???
Well, in this new house I have forced myself to not get overwhelmed. I still have many boxes in the garage which I will NOT bring into my home. If I do not have a place for all the junk...............an orderly place..........I will not bring it in. I have had people over to this new house..............it has been VERY scary. I am VERY apologetic and say repeatedly, "I NEVER entertain...." I rarely (like never) invite people over for dinner............that would be awful!!! But my d and son in law are over a lot with the new pool. Maybe I will cook.
My d walked in and told me my house stunk. So I ran to Target and got carpet fresh and air fresheners. Now the basement smells like Spring Rain OVER THE TOP!! It is funny, actually. I'll show you......I'll change from dog and cat smell to dog and cat smell covered by SPRING RAIN!! haha
I guess that is progress, isn't it??? I opened the fridge and saw some jelly in the shelf...........I got some hot water and cleaned it up!! I went shopping and when I got home I organized the freezer........rotated the stuff and threw out old, moldy stuff!! Progress!!
Excruciating progress!! It is so scary to let people in.............I had a babysitter last night.............someone IN my home without me......ow!! No problem.....
Now I consider work to be the next 'cleansing." Our store is dysfunction central. No one follows rules. No one enforces rules. People come and go as they please. Dysfunction. I think my only escape is to leave. Oh, I yearn for my mom to come in and say, "Kelly, I have been thinking.............you are a competent woman and I am going to turn this over to you.............you can do whatever you want..............." But we all know that won't happen. Or if she said, "Kelly, I am going to giving you a trust fund and you can live off the interest............." She could do it but she won't..............
SS- I am sorry I kind of hijacked your thread but I know that you know where I am coming from. It is AGONY in our homes. And it is frustration knowing our parents could bless us with financial stability so we would have the time and energy to get our lives in order. But for some reason they are waiting for us to get our lives in order before they would bless us. But we are in a double bind because even if we had our lives in order, it would not be to their specifications so they would never bless us. Round and round we go. On an endless merry=go-round that isn't that merry. Constant striving for approval. Hoping for our parents to finally give it up and really help us. Acknowledge that we are sinking and need them. But, no...not in my family. I am "bad." Why on earth would she bless a bad seed? So that just gives me the gumption to say.................good, then, I stick it to you mom. The bookkeeper and I will leave and you will be left with a dysfunctional business which is going down the tubes...............it could have been saved if you were not so stupid!
