This anti-logic provides a lovely escape hatch for malignant narcissists because you can be made into a 'sinner' for calling them on their garbage, or for simply stating truth. They wave the flag of their 'hurt' feelings and it is supposed that you will then cease and desist or risk being labeled a hateful, unkind person.
Dear Carolyn,
Thank you for this thread. This about sums up all of the conflict I have recently gone through here on this board.
Today is a busy day at the office. I have not had much time to respond to many here, but I have popped in to read recently...slowing working my way through others words, feelings and thoughts, I have been thinking that if I want to escape feeling invalidated then I must work to validate others, we reap what we sow.
I've still got a long way to go before I will be able to call myself a sower of peace...but, that does not mean I cannot experience peace in my heart, which, I might say today I am peaceful, or, that I will at all times be a sower of peace rather than confusion.
One thing that gives me peace is being able to express myself and have a voice regardless of the outcome - at least I have said my peace...which gives me peace.
Anyway...I am grateful for your voice here, you voice teaches me gentleness.
Lise
Dear Lise,
You're welcome, always.
I can't say that I'll always be a sower of peace, either, you know?
Every one of us has limits... rough edges... tippy cups that spill out gunk.
I don't know anyone who is gunk-free. Jostle them around enough and it's gonna get messy.
You've been jostled here... alot. Whether everyone else sees that or not, it matters not.
In order to recognize how you experience life, somebody'd have to make the effort to get near...
or recognize that they've walked in your steps at some point along the road.
Please be patient with yourself as you practice the skills which you so desire to perfect.
I know how determined you are.
I also feel that you're holding yourself more responsible than warranted here...
when the truth is that there are many different personalities involved.
Hope this is making sense. I'd just like to support you in whatever way possible...
and let you know that I have confidence in your ability to learn to relieve the pressure of all that can build when interests conflict...
without feeling any shame afterward.
I'm not there yet, but definitely seeing the potential.
Love and hugs,
Carolyn
