ATTENTION: If you have had a lot of bad relationships, (or even one) PLEASE, PLEASE read this and then respond to me:
BE ADVISED: If you have had a really hard childhood, there is a chance that this will not apply to you...however, if you had a good childhood, and this page did not help and/or THIS is more like you: please, please read this and write me back.
I met a girl a few days ago at work, and talked to her for hours. Turns out we are both in bad relationships and have been for as long as we can remember. We have both been trying to leave our significant others, but did not have the courage, as we felt we were alone. However, after talking to one another, we were both actually inspired to leave, but still needed a little push. So today I was just surfing the internet to possibly find some information on helping us gain some self-confidence. I came across this page, and as I began to read I became disgusted. Like I said, I have been in about a thousand bad long-term relationships, and it had nothing to do with anything listed on this page. I am not meaning to discredit anyone, but I know from experience and the experience of my new found close friend exactly why this DOES happen. You see, people who chose bad relationships one after the other are not grieving or messed up from their past, or even doing it out of a pleasure for abuse. And to be perfectly honest, it is not even that we chose bad relationships. You see, this is not a choice, it progresses in time. What our problem is, is that we are "too nice," and worst of all, we have a deep, underlying fear of being alone. Every relationship I have been in, and she as well, has progressed the same way. We begin by starting the relationship. In the relationship we give everything we have of ourselves, and do not even concern ourselves with, well, us. We do this absolutely whole-heartedly and for the first few months or so, it's perfect. The guy is great, and we are happy that he is happy. Then he subconsciously begins to take advantage of the fact that we will do anything to please. It gets worse, and worse, and worse, and worse. Then, when we begin to stick up for ourselves, he is appauled, and wants to know why we are cheating on him, or want to leave him, or why we are becoming a bitch, etc... And since he has gotten the idea that we are the perfect girlfriend, since he can get whatever he wants, and/or do whatever he wants, he begins to turn psychotic about us leaving him. So he must know where we are, and what we are doing at all times, that is providing we are at work or school or at our parents (sometimes even debatable). (And...most always, he becomes abusive in one or more forms.) He also starts getting adamant about us not even having girlfriends, because if we hang out with any other person besides him we might muster up the courage to leave him, or even just tell our friends what he does which will in turn lead to us eventually leaving. After it gets to a certain point, we are completely fed up, but there is one problem: He has isolated us so much that we have lost all contact with friends, family, co-workers, etc... and now we have no one to turn to. And because of this, we feel completely alone. And after one bad relationship after another, we develop this underlying fear, that we may not even recognize at all, of being alone. We cannot stand the thought of not having that person (whoever they be) to talk to whenever we need, even if he is abusive, he is "there." It becomes so frustrating that the very next guy that comments on he sees what a great girl we are, and everything is perfect because we walk on eggshells to make him happy. See a pattern? I am beginning to realize why this haliking our hair, or thinking we are nice becomes our new interest, and we are suddenly stricken with them. As soon as this new interest sends one sign our way, we begin talking to him, and soon muster up the courage to leave the first guy, since there is a new one to talk to when we need. He is so nice, and we give everything of ourselves to him so thatppens, and how it can be prevented, and what to do if you are in the same type of situation. If you are in need of any kind of help, or are even going through the same type of situation, PLEASE, PLEASE, email me and let me know your whole story. I promise I will write back as soon as I receive it. Also, if you have AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) let me know in your email what your Screen Name is, and I will contact you that way. It is very hard to be in this situation, or any like it, so I really, really want to talk to some others who are going through, or have gone through a similar situation so I can try my best to help them...not to mention Jessica and I. : ) I also believe I am going to start an online place, somehow, just for these particular (well, and other) types of victims. This is torture, and I want to get out, so let's all stick together. Please email me:
missworldk@walla.com
