Imaginary life

[Anonymous]

I have always been a daydreamer. But sometimes I wonder if it is healthy...
Does anyone else spend time, creating an imaginary life for themselves, in another setting, with different circumstances?  you are still the main character, but you have all of your ideal characteristics,  you surrounded by different people... people you choose.  I always imagine I am loved by certain people... I did this as a child a bit.  And I have found myself doing it again lately. I don't know why.  Sometimes my imagination is so active, that I start to feel surprised that reality is what it is, and not what I created in my imagination.
I bring this up, because I am beginning to think this is a voicelessness issue.  I wonder if I am the only one who does it, or if any one has any insight.  I don't dare tell my therapist!

[Anonymous]

As a child, I used to daydream all the time, and got yelled at by my mean father.  He forbid me to daydream, and punished me for it.  He also belittled my artistic  and physical talents. He also forbid crying. Needless to say, i felt very stifled and repressed growing up.  

But as an adult, i have given myself the room to indulge in my daydreaming, and crying, and whatever i want, whenever i want.  It feels good and healthy now.

Daydreaming is great for getting your creative juices flowing again, so you can find what you want. It can be a true saviour during difficult times.  You can find many answers to your questions in your dreams.  I don't see any downside to it unless it is distrupting your daily life.

Why don't you want to tell your therapist about your desire to daydream?  You shouldn't waste your time and money holding out on your therapist.  You should feel free to tell your therapist anything you want.

[Dawning]

Guest Wrote:

Does anyone else spend time, creating an imaginary life for themselves, in another setting, with different circumstances? you are still the main character, but you have all of your ideal characteristics, you surrounded by different people... people you choose.

Umm...yes.  As far back as I have remembered, I have created an imaginary life.  I created plays and characters when I was between the ages of 12-14 and never shared them with anyone.  Once a teenager. I got crushes on boys at school and would spend hours alone in my room thinking about an imaginary scene with us together.  I was always fantasizing about being rescued and when my first and only boyfriend in college tried to do that, I resisted!  Looking back, I think how strange.  We broke up after 8 years, 2 of which we lived together.  I still miss him a little.  I didn't realize how basically *ok* he was.  He didn't come from a family with as much dysfunction as mine - that is for sure.  

Sometimes my imagination is so active, that I start to feel surprised that reality is what it is, and not what I created in my imagination.

This is something I would definitely bring up with your therapist.  I've lived in a fantasy my whole life to the point of making choices in reality based on my fantasy.  It can be a problem if it gets out of hand.  Good Luck and post more about this if you like.  I am trying to get out of it myself.

Having said that, Guest's response was spot-on...

Daydreaming is great for getting your creative juices flowing again, so you can find what you want. It can be a true saviour during difficult times.

I am taking my daydreams and turning them into works of art.  It is much better than keeping it all inside or trying to project it onto people.  Much healthier.  Took me a while to give myself permission to do it though and not fear criticism (which I *felt* as condemnation and abuse.)

Thanks for bringing up this interesting topic as it related to voicelessness and emotional survival.

[BlueTopaz]

I wonder if I am the only one who does it

I do similar.  

Guest- thanks for relating it to voicelessness.  I hadn't made the connection.