This is difficult for me to read or give advice because, as a grandma, I lost contact with my 2 grandchildren because my N son-in-law banished me. My daughter 'being brainwashed' followed his thinking. A 3rd was born the next year.
I would not have been allowed a phone call or visit, but I did press my luck the following year on my birthday and drove out to their place and asked to see my grandchildren. The 2 remembered me, and she was pg with the 3rd (I never noticed) and they sat in my car and chattered away until my little 1st born one started to cry about missing Ragsy. I asked what happened (he was a gift from his other grandmother) and he said he 'died in the fire' and little 2nd born piped up with a partial lisp/lithpth "Yeth, and I lothed my bunk bedth."
That when I learned they had lost everything in a fire, and were living in a small travel trailer. I was more dejected than ever about my daughter and my g'klids, then 6 wks later I received a call from a sister that the 3rd one was born. What a shock!
This doesn't help you, tay, but it's a grandma story bercause the g'kids had an N father.
Good Luck
Izzy
