Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > What Helps?

tips for raising self esteem?

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Anonymous:
Hi everybody.
probably because of N influences as a child and as an adult... my self-esteem is so low, and it gets in the way of me living fully.  
So many things I dream of doing, I don't believe I have the ability to do. (when actually the facts would prove otherwise).
I am shy and insecure about so many things, and there is no need for that.  I know this because some others have insisted, test scores prove it. Yet, I focus on my failures.  It is so difficult to change my focus.  
Does anyone have any ideas, practical ways, any tips at all for raising self esteem?

Anonymous:
Have you tried any books?  There are loads of books and articles available online.

Dawning:
Nice topic.  I'm open to making a list.   :D  

I agree that reading books and articles will help.  And...

*trust your intuition

*do something active with your body that makes you sweat and work hard and that you can do by yourself at regularly scheduled times.

*try something new and healthy that you have always wanted to do and - if there is any internal resistance - "feel the fear and do it anyway."

*smile.  be nice. be gentle.  be flexible.

ch:

--- Quote from: Anonymous ---Yet, I focus on my failures.
--- End quote ---


Did you learn anything from thinking about the failures?
Is it because you didn't learn anything, and that is why you are focusing on it?  Or is it because you learned it, and enjoy the process of reliving or reinforcing the lesson?  Is there something in the process of focusing on the failure that brings you affirmation?  or something of that sort?
Are you in disbelief of the failure?
Are you angry, upset, of indifferent?  
Is it possible you had learned or accepted someone else's negative opinion of you?

Have you focused on your achievements lately?
WHat is the difference between focusing on failures and achievements?

...just some probing questions. hope you won't feel offended.  some of us are going through the same thing as you are.  

Dawning:
ch. *great* questions.  I'm not Guest but I'd like to answer in the order you asked. thanks,  ch, you really got me thinking.  

Yes.

Yes and could be.  I *like* to learn.  Sometimes to my own detriment.  I am learning to have confidence in what I've learned.

third question is *mighty* packed full of insight: for me, yes it is exciting.  I like the feeling of being angry and punching the N in the face and saying, *hey, I've got something say too!*

No.

No.

Yes, but not of *the* failure.  Of *a* failure....any failure.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.  Praise this board!

The difference between focusing on failure and achivements....I can focus on my failures because I know I am human and it is human to make mistakes.  I have a harder time with achievements....achievement means being able to have my fantasy come true.  And that is the work I need to do..

Thank you again for asking these questions.

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