Aha! Moment!

[Overcomer]

Just had an interview with a gal for a dueling Piano bar.  She said you may come in at 2 And scheduled until midnight but you may have to stay later if the place is busy AND make less money!  Are you nuts?  12 Hour days AND less money?  Then it hit me-Lup Is right!  I think I can be around my mom AND NOT take her with me.  I can enjoy my life where ever I am.  I can come and go as I please and make good $ and be a good mom etc.

[Lupita]

do you really think you can detach from your mother?

I am separated 2000 miles from my mother and still sacres me many times.

What do you think?

Why do you want to still be connected to her?

Do you think that just the money would be a good excuse?

There  has to be a reason why you and I both of us we still want to be connected to a distructive person.

[Izzy_*now*]

Dear OC
I expect, with having an Nmother, it is very easy to blame her for the way your life is playing out.

Detaching from her and leaving her out of anything you do will make you feel 1000 times better...You control where you go, what you do and what you choose. If you can do this , having her close by, it is a big feat. I gather you did that? Great!

I know that when I determined who was toxic (N or not) in my life and began living my life without one thought about what they would think I felt so much more free. And that has been long enough now that it comes naturally. Although it became easier for me that all of them are 2000 miles away.
Love
Izzy

[Overcomer]

It is just that I cannot alter my life too much so it will harm my children-so while I am working on the escape I have to learn to live with her near.  I know she will have to back off very soon because my dad's health is bad and she is getting so forgetful.

[Ami]

I am going to be very politically incorrect. I think you should stay at work with your M .For me, I got away physically,but I was tied by iron cords in my mind. I have seen you try to get another job but the constraints of time, children and finances squeeze you in an impossibe way, it seems.
 I think you CAN detach b/c detachment is a state of miind. That is just my 2 cents.    Love   Ami

[CB123]

What was the position you were offered, Kelly?  Was it a restaurant?  (if so, 12 hours for the same pay is pretty typical.  Don't sign up for it unless you love it.)

For me, work environment trumps money--although obviously only up to a point.  The other thing to think about is that EVERY job is going to have someone like your mother in it.  There are just too many of them out there, and you are bound to have to deal with them.  So, a job change isnt always clear sailing.

You'll know what to do, Kelly.  Sounds like things are a bit better lately.

Love
CB