hi Beth,
That sister, also called Beth, is a bully and close to if not an N. She has bullied me all my life. She has told me things that there was no need for me to know, because knowing would just hurt me.
Mom's ways were a puzzle so her telling me that was not a hurtful thing, At least I know it now for this topic I am on.
However, my eldest sister, a nurse, came to see me every day at the beginning, then she would call about not being able to come. That was OK with me as she had her own life, and every day for me was taking away from her husband and 2 kids. but then Beth told me Sis stopped coming because she couldn't stand to look at me. Now that one Hurt
My daughter--I cannot remember, see?-- did what I said then called a DOCTOR--No..she must have needed attention. This is 3 years before her father did it! It was my accident, meaning...I expect... that she had chores that would normally have been mine--wash windows, cut grass. I did my things, sweep garage, vacuum car, weed and plant in flower beds. We cleaned the house together. She carried the laundry to the laundry room and I took care of everything until it was time to put , just hers, away.
I was a mother in a wheelchair for school, yet I never saw this as a problem with her. She was so helpful on PT nights.
A 12 yr old? Only God knows what went on , but I don't remember because it likely hurt me, to make me feel I was letting her down and I blocked that.I am not saying she was a lazy girl as she did a lot of work.....well she still does so whatever at 12 has made her a hard worker now, just as I was/am.
Perhaps if I were sitting around, thinking about things, and never heard her speak, she would feel ignored. Right? and I sit around now doing a lot of thinking....I doubt only the ringing telephone would get through.
She may have intended to complete suicide, but she called a doctor. I can understand that distress, yet I have never contemplated it.
My sister Beth did. She took a bottle of Valium and then drove to her friend's place. When she was passing out she told her friend and an ambulance was called. That was just a cry for attention.
Feelings! Yuk!
Like BLISS is to be what one feels in the great throes of passionate lovemaking with one's one and only, yet I have never used the word!!!! Joe would have laughed me out of bed if I had said, "That was Blissful!" I suppose we all have our own terms and a Therapist has another, but I am sure that I must become aware of every name of a feeling, since I never learned them.
xx
Izzy