Trying to start a new life!

[Elaine1966]

Wow, gjazz your story was amazing, thanks for sharing.!  I can't even imagine doing what you did 20 years ago, that says so much for you and the type of person you are...just amazing!  My question is......how do I figure out what has kept me with him?  I feel this is the big million dollar question......why, why, why????? My therapist asks me all the time, what do you get out of this relationship and all I can say is really nothing other than occasional companionship.

Ami, I feel that I am the same way as you are...I need someone to affirm me and give me that sense of identity all the time....your right it's a sad place to be.

Gratitude, thanks for your praise and encouraging words.  And your right, my son is fabulous, he is such a great man, I am so proud of him.  Thanks for complimenting him!  My sister agrees with what you say...I am just a convenience for my N fiance (now ex).

You are all a blessing for me right now.........I can't thank you enough.  This is so difficult for me.

(((((((((((((((((Elaine))))))))))))))))))

[gjazz]

I wasn't brave, just desperate.

The only thing I can say about figuring out what keeps you with him is: be honest with yourself.  Don't be embarrassed.  Don't be ashamed.  That's so much of what we deal with as a result of relationships with Ns.  If it's great sex, hey, let it be that.  If it's that you're embarrassed to be single or feel your friends will think you're a loser if you're single, there it is.  I'm just guessing and these are kind of common ones.  My point is to remove any blocks to your consciousness, accept WHATEVER it is, because that way, at least in my experience, you can find other things to fill that void.