Get a load of this................... Truth

[teartracks]

Hi Iz,

I will not go over and over it again, because now I have it as right as I will ever get it, though I will never understand the cruelty inflicted then denied or ignored,

That's about where I find myself.  I have accepted that I have it about as right as I will ever get it in this life.  For sure there are no experts in my family including me.  The only difference is that I wanted desperately and worked hard at correcting the parts of me that contributed to the dysfunction in my family.  In the beginning, I thought it could be a concerted effort between us, but that was a naive dream of mine, one I gave up. 

I don't want to spin or hijack your thread, but I'd like to say that it is important to me not to come off as if I have 'arrived' or that I have worked harder at getting well than other members,  or that it was easy.  Nothing could be farther from the truth and getting to a point where I didn't spend every waking moment holding the pain of the past at bay took a lot of time.  Believe me, if I thought I had some magic formula for erasing the kind of pain we talk about here, I'd bottle it!

Anyway, as usual, thanks for sharing your lifesights. 

tt

[Izzy_*now*]

Thanks tt,

You said it too!

It's about the best we can ask for and then we might find new hurdles easier to jump. I doubt I will ever say "I have arrived" but I have this sister nailed into a discussion that will determine something, and I did sense defensiveness in her last. I have written again, admitting my faulty thinking, and I think that is difficult for her to do. She mentions only her corrected thinking, but I didn't point that out.

As well, she thinks she is the sister who wanted the spouse present at a family meeting I asked for of only the 5 sibs. All I said was that one was not agreeable unless her husband came, so the meeting didnt take place. She isn't the one. I was the eldest one, but this one's feeling 'guilty?' makes me think that maybe she does count on him for support and protection at family gatherings.

I will never know.

TTYL
xx
Izzy

[Izzy_*now*]

Can you picture a 9 year old girl doing this? My mother, with her crooked back, curvature of the spine, spina bifida and because her father lost  moneyfrom some investment. (and it seems I was always hearing about that!) About 1917, she was 9

When she was finished, he said she had done it wrong and made her plough the field in the opposite direction.

What an abusive father she had.

Izzy

[Hopalong]

Izz....

Did you ever get The Dwelling Place by Catherine Cookson?

I think of you, I think of her. I truly think you would love her novels.

As deeply and more absorbingly than even those great old movies.

love
Hops