hi everyone,
It’s been on my mind for quite some time, when we speak about not having a happy childhood. I am 70 years old and still looking for that childhood. I will die before I find it.
No child ought to have to care for a 70 year old body, and I have been doing that for 40 years. So I am split between body and mind. All the while I’ve learned that I don’t click at all with other ‘older’ women. I click better with those 30-50. The older woman are presenting themselves as older women, which I don’t do….or look…or act. The next group doesn’t know what it is like to be old, cannot even picture old age, I’m sure, and we get along. They are at the age of maturity and still looking for friends and fun. Me too!
Younger than that, I am into the ages of my grandchildren, and I cannot connect at all., because I fear things I read about laziness, dope, mooching off parents to the point of running the family into debt…the sense of entitlement. So I wonder if the current young people are all going to be Narcissistic.
I fear my 2 grandsons are ‘learning’ the N way from living with my ex-SIL. In some ways I wonder if my daughter picked up some of his ways.
As you know I live alone, disabled for 40 years and now in the midst of waiting out the healing of this last broken leg. I’ve picked up much more on my original feelings from the people who are helping me. Christine is 47, as helpful as can be and says she loves coming here because I have such interesting stories to tell (2 years older than my daughter.) Melanie came daily (around same age as Christine) to change my dressings when I was seeping from an incision, and was ever so pleasant and helpful and concerned. Janet (same age group) will come every 8 weeks, or so, for foot care and complimented me on how well I had taken care of my feet over the last 40 years.
They all work for “We Care” which is paid by ICBC, the Driver’s Insurance Co., but ‘We Care’ is the buffer between ICBC and me, so they are not ‘enemies’ of mine. Mary Jo was hired as my physiotherapist, by ICBC, and is very short on information for me, i.e. the ’enemy‘. Without even touching my leg she pawned me off on an assistant, also the ’enemy’, who was the most unfriendly one of all. I dismissed her. So Mary Jo had to find another therapist and now I have Jay a 38 yr old guy., with his own business ($40.00 hour) He was here for the second time today (after seeing me the first time, he worked out a regime for me) and we accomplished something in just ½ an hour. (I can move both knees together, without pain and keep them together, ….before that my bad leg rotated outward from the knee down, and I couldn’t move it in but my ads and abs wouldn’t work, so I tied my knees together. Something “popped ’ and after he was gone I could do this.
Jay is very nice and will have me all set up before he turns an assistant onto me, and he is one step removed from ICBC, as is We Care.
Meanwhile back to childhood, I cannot stand watching movies about teenagers, but like the ones whereby the actors are say 25 or more +, and I seem to get along so well with this ‘middle-aged group’ not Mary Jo as I called her out, too, that I find it hard to not think of how I was when about 30, before the accident and wonder if my sudden stop in maturing and learning to be older, was stunted right then
I don’t want to do old lady things, Bingo and Bridge at the Senior’s Centre, but would rather go out to dinner will younger people and enjoy a meal, a glass of wine, and good conversation.
I met a woman in the store today, “old“, in a scooter and she was so boring I was going nuts to try to get her off talking about herself and get away, so I admired her blouse and she said she bought it there and I said, “Well Hell! I’m off to get one!” and left.
Does anybody here feel out of her actual age group, as do I?
On one hand I cannot DO those younger things, but my mind thinks upon them.
love
Izzy
