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Books that have helped you understand??

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Simon46:
Since there are many people reading this board at various stages of healing and understanding about Narcissism, I thought it might be helpful to all of us to share books or other sources of information that have helped us "get the picture." It might help others reading these boards.

The book "Children of the Self-Absorbed, an Adults guide to Understanding your Narcissitic Parents." By Nina Brown has helped me tremendously.  As I read it I thought omigod! She must have been in my house growing up!  How can she know all that? Maybe I am not making this up! My entire perception of my family life began to change in a way that was more true to what really happened, instead of the idealized version I had always been told. This book is available on Amazon.

What books "turned on the switch" for you?  What books would you recommend to others struggling with the same issues?

P:
Two books that have helped me A LOT:

Trapped In the Mirror, Adult Children of Narcissists and thier Struggle for Self by Elan Golomb, PH.D.

Why Is It Always About You?  Saving Yourself From the Narcissists in Your Life by Nancy Hotchkiss

seeker:
Hi everybody,

This board is my newest aid in my "first aid kit".  But bibliotherapy has always been my first course of action.  The ones already posted are great. Here are a couple more:

Controlling People: Patricia Evans
This has a great "teddy bear" analogy.  That is, many Ns see other humans as their teddy bears to play with them as they direct...

Too Nice for Your Own Good: Duke Robinson
Great for an approval junkie like me.   :)

Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul Mason and Randi Kruger
This is really about BPD, but N coexists with this disorder quite a bit.  Biggest eye-opener I read. Lots of survival tips in here, esp if you are dealing with a rage-aholic.

Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen
This is a great book for anybody, esp. voiceless people who need voice!  This book helped me prepare for a confrontation with other family members re the problem N in our lives.  My comments didn't change anybody else's behavior, but I felt heard and empowered, which lowered my frustration level quite a bit.  Besides, the only behavior we can change is our own!   :) Basic message: say what you need to say in the least harmful and effective way.  (and you do need to say it).

OK, last suggestion:
Writing as a Way of Healing by Louise DeSalvo
OK, now that some have figured out what's going on, now what do we do?  Writing down what happened and how we felt about it (linking events and feelings) will help us heal!  And it's kind of garbage: we gotta take it out, or it piles up.  And we all have garbage.  

Uh oh, I can see my summaries are getting longer...better sign off now.  Good luck everyone!  cheers, S.

CC:
Prisoners of Childhood: the Drama of the Gifted Child - Alice Miller

I think its one of the oldest books on this subject, and written from a very objective, almost clinical perspective (written for psychologists who TREAT NPD or children of them) but it was a breakthrough book for me.

Alan:
Why is it Always about You has been a godsend.  The author must have been hiding in my house.

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