Thanks, M02, for reminding me how easily my imagination can outrun reality.
And for understanding what the fear feels like. (I'm sorry you do.)
Whew.
Not too much at all, Amber. I am really grateful. Rescuer = BUSTED.
I like your perspective, the way you so often hold the long view.
And...she did call again. She's just alienated her best friend AND her landlord.
She processes her anxiety and stuckness by more or less ranting, and isn't gifted
with a naturally gentle-sounding voice...so they both got agitated. Her landlord,
in particular, got angry because she's had this young man staying with her, and
he didn't rent his spare bedroom to TWO people, just to her. And it was beyond kind.
They've talked and she's apologized. But I wonder if she realizes how much she
behaves as though she's entitled. Her explanation to him was, well, because I'm
having car trouble, that's why he's here, and I'll give you an update as soon as I can.
In the real world, such as work situations or schoolwork deadline situations, her
excuse-making is beginning to not fly. And I wonder how many "learning experiences"
she has ahead before she recognizes that Nspot of "specialness" and how much trouble
it can create.
I've been there. Stayed too long, too.
It's sounding more likely as though she may smell the coffee and come home.
I will be relieved but not necessarily enjoy it...but I hope for the best outcome.
We all need refuge sometimes. And maybe it would do us good to have another
short chapter together. We've both been through a lot, and we're all we've got.
I will not let her dissolved into a depressed lump on the couch if she comes, however.
She may be home for a few nights before a final move, so I hope we can talk it through.
It was such a disaster for me when my "short term trial" with my Nmother turned into
a lost decade. This is not the same thing, but I still have pink flags swooshing...
What an opportunity to practice boundaries and healthy assertion it would be, if she
moved in.
love,
Hops
