crazy making maybe?

[seasons]

I tell Michael while we are playing scrabble that you would call me on Saturday nights while ma and dad were over playing scrabble with me and you'd say to me on the phone"is this how you are going to spend yur Sat nights"lol meaning I should be out. So funny. Little did I know I was having a special SAT night!!!

This is part of an email I received from second older N. In the email she is talking about me to her "NEW" boyfriend.

Again, this is a LIE. I DON'T EVEN TALK LIKE THIS NOW, OR YEARS AGO, I'M HEARING HER VOICE, NOT MINE.

Our parents passed away. She is painting her own picture of the past. Also making her look like the doting daughter, while I sound cold.

She continues to tell me what I said years, decades ago. 90+% of the time she is lying, but believes her recount of history.

It also leaves me speechless, when I have spoken up and said, " I didn't do that or say that" she says, "Oh you just forgot!" And waves her hand at me like it doesn't matter, or matter what I have to say.

I have LC to NC with this one sister. I've also been NC with oldest Nsister since end of June.

Do they ever stop?

Her words, her lies help me keep the strength of not going back to oldest N sister, because they never stop or change.

Feeling frustrated, and reminded of how this sister works in particular. Excellent at bring herself up and sending me to the ground and this is when she when she is having good day........... of being nice. LOL

seasons, thanks for letting me vent.

[Gabben]

Hi Seasons,

I understand your frustration. "Do they ever stop?" How many times I have wondered this myself with my NM and other N's in my life.  It is hard, just when we feel that perhaps maybe they have grown or looked at themselves, the way that we do, they throw back into our lives the muck of projection and distortion.

Over the years I have learned, somewhat, to live with the NM and others in acceptance and with a low expectation level. It is and was hard, because like you, I am an optimist, always hoping for the best and wishing the N's to be happy knowing that real happiness is an inside job not an Nsided one where we are made to be always at fault and to blame.

Learning to love the N's has been my most difficult lessons in life, others would disagree with me on that, telling me that there is no way that we can learn to love and live with them, but I have found that not to be true.

The N's just need more love than most of us; at least that is one way I have tried to cope with them. It is not always my job to give them that love. The most difficult lesson was learning that through my love of truth and wanting to help the N's I was setting myself up for major dissapointment and backlash.

[Ami]

Dear Seasons
  I have to laugh cuz the LAST thing you are is an obnoxious ,coarse person!     xxxooo    Ami

[Gabben]

Dear Seasons
  I have to laugh cuz the LAST thing you are is an obnoxious ,coarse person!     xxxooo    Ami

lol, agreed. Seasons you are a kind and gentle person.

[seasons]

It is hard, just when we feel that perhaps maybe they have grown or looked at themselves, the way that we do, they throw back into our lives the muck of projection and distortion

YES!

Thank you Lise.

I think she triggered many old memories of the pain she has brought to our relationship.

This was a minuscule snowflake, but I know how she works and before you know it she creates an avalanche coming strait for you. Ouch!

Too close and my heart is not at peace but being poisoned.

I really believe I can pray and love her with an open heart if she is not in my day to day life.

Again thank you Lise and Ami for listening.   It means a lot even if it may seem trivial from the outside.    With appreciation, seasons