Sealnyx - You have a lot of good thoughts about buddhism/acceptance; forgiveness (i.e. accepting what it is); the relationship request showing you step 1 - this one is very true! I recently experienced this one myself.
My question to myself this morning was about respect. If I'm not getting the respect I think I deserve, I must not be giving it (I think I do- I return all calls and emails, I'm polite, I don't waste peoples time, I'm genuinely nice) - or I have accepted so little respect in the past thats why I keep attracting a low level of respect.
If I take the psych approach, you see your T, figure out why you accept less respect than you deserve (my NM never thought I was worthy of certain levels of respect, she disrespects me; never supported me when I was disrespected, she also disrespects my judgement/feelings when I'm being disrespected!!! I bought into her garbage, I established a low level through my thoughts, actions, words, did not confront those when I got less respect than I deserve) then you figure out the patterns and work on breaking them, if your self esteem can handle it - sometimes not. You may lose people that wont treat you with the respect you deserve and wont allow you to alter that part of a relationship that functions to their liking, not yours. This is very frequently a work/boss or a family issue - its also the reason to stress having strong boundaries from the beginning, respect, like trust is hard to rebuild.
If you take the new age approach - they'll ask you if you know its true, are you taking it too personally, where are you not being respectful in return etc. I think they focus more on changing your overall perception and with things like accepting what is, being grateful, appreciative of the lesson - all of that stuff and I think for DONMs it leads us farther away from a solution to the problem - which for many of us, is rebuilding self esteem and self respect. Also, as DONMs anything that tries to get us away from your true feelings is to be avoided, since many of us had our feelings invalidated in the past,,, this is hugely true for me anyway.
Anyway, these are my thoughts for the moment....