Dear BT,
Not all that long ago I can to a peaceful decision regarding how to handle this situation. Fortunately, every one who has responded so far, has chosen the same path that I chose for myself. Your response had a profound affect on me because I felt as If your letters were coming out of my own mouth. Your response was almost "verbatem" the explanation I have given to the few personal friends that know the whole situation. This decision did not come easy for me. My mother runs a successful business, that my husband and I both "worked" for. I left earlier in the year because I couldn't take another minute seeing her daily. Not to mention, the sheer entitlement the thought she deserved regarding the personal daily "whatever" that was going on with my own family. Looking bad, of course I now realize it was just a final attempt at "control".
I guess after I left the picture, she was a bit bent, and decided to strike back. One month later, she fired my husband. Not only fired, but he was given a legal seperation document restricting him from obtaining similiar work on the entire Eastern Seaboard for 2 years! He was ushered out like a common criminal, was made to turn in his keys, and hand over his laptop! Under regular circumstances this would be shocking. But almost impossible to swallow since this was family! She took away the financial stability of her daughter, son-in-law and 2 young grandchildren!
The reason I discovered the folder was quite a coincidence. I stopped by my parents home and tried to open the garage door with the code that has worker for nearly 15 years, but this time....no luck. No one was home at the time, and my first instinct was to call my brother and get help to get in. My brother is the "golden" child, so he tries his best to stay neutral to all that has transpired. (Weasel!) By some sort of mirical...he knew of a new code that worked! (Sooo surprising!) He played dumb as to why the code had changed, and of course noone had informed me. I took that as another sick move my parents directed upon me. I was enraged at the time, and started to thumb through my mother's personal home office. I know this was wrong, but I was truely searching for some kind of documentation regarding the firing of my husband. Well...didn't find any paperwork on that subject, but found something even better!
Oddly enough, my reaction was laughter. Sad, but true. Almost as if, I wasn't surprised at all. Instantaneously I was giddy thinking about how many ways I could screw her life, like she had just done to mine. I thought about bribery and the sort. It took some time to figure things out. Isearched for answers from a higher level this time around. I met with and spoke with many respected people within my religion. I was already semi-sure how I wanted to react, but they sealed the deal for me. There response was the same as yours. They stated that if my mother was sick enough to do the damage she had already done, she would surely caused extreme havoc against me if I tried to screw with her "perfect" life. Not too mention, what if anything positive could come of it? I would be just as evil as her. She decided she was going to intrude into my marriage and create havoc in my world. And by revealing my mother, I would be doing just the same.
Today, I am just as giddy with this secret. I feel like no matter what transpires in the future..I'll always get a smile from this information. I really sad for her and very sad for my father. My birthday just passed last week and my father never even called to wish me a Happy Birthday. That made a real statement. It hurt, but I now understand that he has no other choice than to "back" my mother. Whether he is in the dark about what's been going on or not...it wouldn't matter. My father wouldn't survive without her. I think of this and feel even more sad for him. I finally got out of her grip, but my father, unfortunately, will more than likely never have that opportunity.
I consider myself lucky! I count my blessings each day, and pray for both of them.
Thanks for the responses!
