Yep Ami, you hit it on the head. Anger was BAD!!! Nm was the only one allowed to have emotions in the house. That was her domain. Mine was to be meek and mild and let her do as she pleased.
I'm finding that the more I just let myself feel my anger, to just let myself be angry and be ok with that, the easier I feel inside myself. I feel stronger for having let out some of my anger. Is all this anger inside me keeping me weak? Because I do feel very weak. Like I have no will.
We were studying Erickson's stages of development in class tonight. My nm screwed me on every stage completely until I got to school years and got some positive support from teachers. Mistrust, shame, doubt, guilt, and inferiority were all given to me by nm. She made sure I received these precious gifts of hers. And guess what...that makes me mad!
Ok, I'm having a little bit of fun with this, but that's ok too. I'm sure you're familiar with the double entendre of the word mad. Well I'm mad as hell!

Thanks for listening, Sharon