N mom "forgets" things

[Overcomer]

I guess I would say my Nmom talks out of both sides of her mouth.  She hired a high priced consultant group to come in and evaluate the business.  I had left to work at the furniture store.  They suggested I come back and they made my mom sign some documents which said that she agreed to work outside the business and let me and the store manager run the operations.

Then I got cancer and was out for four months and it was her "get back into work free" card.

Now she is right back doing the things that have frustrated me and the store manager for years.  I think the store manager might quit because she is under so much stress.

My mom denies even knowing what she signed.  She basically threw approximately $70,000 out the window.  We will never make a profit at this rate and I am starting to feel that familiar stressed out feeling.

I have been so content after all the tradgedy I have gone through......now I feel like someone is lifting me up and putting me right back where I was.  I don't like the feeling!!!

[Ami]

Dear Kelly
 I think your post highlights our dilemma. YOU changed but the N remained the same. I need to remember this life lesson.       Ami

[Izzy_*now*]

Hi OC,

Other than that, how is life? Patience in adversity! How is that for not thinking about you? <tease>

Oh Boy! It never stops. Do you still have the paper she signed, and if so would it still be valid? You definitely do not need a reversal in life now! $70,000 in 4 months? and your Nmother at the helm. I don't blame you for not liking the feeling!

Have you made a list of your choices of action(gun, banana peel on the stairs, arsenic) and another list of what you cannot do?

Are you healed and strong enough to undertake this 'fight'? I hope so. For some people, life is a constant battle.

My physical therapist has had No Contact with her mother since 1992, and now she and her husband are dealing with HIS parents. She has to lead him to the No Contact point with his mother, because he becomes very depressed at her put-downs. It is a very difficult decision to make, but the peace of mind is worth it!

Crafty? I doubt she forgets! Keep on slugging, physically and emotionally!
Love
Iz

[JudyK]

 Overcomer,
   As a fellow survivor, I can relate to what you have experienced. I also can say that my oncologist is very adament about stress knocking down the immune system, allowing cancer to thrive. I have seriously gone LC (used to talk to NM every day) with my mother, in order to try to relieve my stress. Perhaps you could try the same, I don't know if it would work for you, to do this, just a thought.
    My NM has "selective" memory, only remembers things to suit her.  How very, very N of her!   Hugs, Judy

[Overcomer]

It is just the same thing always.  I have been so content and so happy but mom reels me in and wants me to side with her but I am on the manager's side.......I agree with the manager.....my mom does the right things and then disregards them....

[swimmer]

Yes, here too... the selective memory!!  My M has had me convinced I didn't have a memory countless times.  I think I was trained to "not think" and just listen to her.  She would say... if you would just listen (and it was for everyone!).  I remember her telling me to listen and respond to everyone (probably selectively based on situation) but myself.  This runs through my head everyday... she really stole my voice!!  Fortunately I had enough loving adults and church influence in my childhood, I did learn how to have an inner voice- so I know it's there somewhere.... I just lose it in certain periods of my life, then to regain it. 

The memory though..... ughhhh, my GC brother would participate in the selective memory disease, make up a few things with her and they would just fantisize about things that were not true. At a very young age (like 6 years) I thought, these people are crazy, and I would go silent....

Great topic, thanks:)

swimmer