I agree, interesting story Bear.... This reminds me of a few select times in my life where I really told off my NM. One was when she was suicidal (a dear HS friend of mine commit suicide and she knew this). I came home from college on a whim (big mistake), and decide to call just in case... It was snowing lightly etc.. My step dad said I'm so glad you called, your mom has locked herself in the bathroom blah blah... At that time I did not know what was going on, so I panicked, called a close friend as I wanted to find a sane adult for some support. Anyways.....
When I got there, she was still in bathroom, finally came out after a while. I'm getting somewhere here I promise:)...... We were all sitting there in her bedroom.... Dear family friend, stepdad, myself & her. I had this flash of clarity and words started coming out of my mouth I hadn't planned on saying.....About how thoughtless she was, seeing her daughter go through the pain and guilt of a friend's suicide, then this.... Everyone in the room was speechless and my mother said she was impressed by my "speech"... Along with our dear fam friend an stepdad, they were like, wow! I really felt like my body was speaking, it was as if I didn't have a thought, but was saying everything right. It was completely visceral.
I'm not sure if this is the same, but it reminded me of this memory.
Swimmer